Wonderwall
by tuleangel
Summary: Jacob and Bella get married and then after 5 years together, Jacob imprints and leaves Bella heartbroken. When Bella finds the items Edward left under the floorboards of her old bedroom, she goes searching for Edward. But after 5 years will she find him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fan fiction and I am so excited to give this a try after years of ignoring my passion for writing. Right now the story is pretty tame, but my plan is for lots of lemons later. We'll see how it goes and were my writing takes me.**

**My inspiration for this fan fic was Wonderwall by Oasis. Go give it a listen it is referenced below and I think it is totally fitting to Edward and Bella.....just my opinion.**

**Disclaimer: All belongs to the wonderful SM, except for the lyrics below which belong to Oasis :). No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you_

_By now you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

_Back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out_

_I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how_

_Because maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall_

_***************************************************************************************************************************_

**PROLOGUE**

This was going to be the hardest thing I would ever do, but the irony was that it should be the simplest.

I had Wonderwall by Oasis playing over and over on the iPod, never realizing till this very moment how true the words were to my situation.

I hoped that I hadn't been too obvious following the black Mercedes or that the driver had noticed me.

After all, the element of surprise was all I had to get to them before they could get away.

I decided the best strategy was to park my car on the shoulder and gather myself before driving down the long driveway. This also would give him time to park his car and get inside before I got to the house.

I gave myself a little pep talk and turned down the driveway.

I parked the car.

I got out and walked up the porch.

I took a deep breath…

And knocked on the door…

I was preparing for the fight of my life, needing desperately to make myself whole again.

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**CHAPTER 1: MISTAKES**

The morning light shone through the window and across my face and I was instantly depressed. Not the way to start my day, but unavoidable because every morning started this way lately. I reached my arms above my head and stretched, and briefly contemplated just staying in bed all day.

Why get up if it was all going to be just as depressing as the last three weeks. Ever since the day Jacob packed up and left. Of course he really didn't have any choice but to leave. That's how imprinting works. You see her and the connection is stronger than anything else. So even though he feels terrible about leaving me, I understand. I still felt as though I have been hit by a freight train and am expected to stand right back up and keep on walking. Impossible. Even though it was probably a mistake for us to rush into marriage in the first place, I still loved Jacob very much. Not as much as I loved Edward and Jacob knew that, but we were happy.

Then 3 weeks ago we went out to dinner for our 5 year wedding anniversary.

The minute the waitress came over to take our order I saw the look in Jacob's eyes. It was different. He always looked at me lovingly, but this was….well, different. Like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time. Like there was no one else in the restaurant other than the two of them. Like I was invisible**. **Which is exactly how I felt. In the span of just a couple of seconds, I went from a loved and adored wife to invisible and alone.

I always feared this would happen. Edward left me; soon Jacob would either grow tired of me (and the cloud of depression I brought with me everywhere I went) or imprint and eventually leave me. Jacob didn't think so. Even though he had seen Sam, Jared, and Quil all imprint**,** he still thought it was **a** myth and would never happen for him. That's why he proposed. He loved me and wanted me to be happy. I said yes because he loved me and Edward didn't want me. I foolishly thought that Jacob could fill the gaping hole Edward tore out of my chest and I would feel whole again. It was a foolish thought considering I never stopped loving Edward. Not for one second. But I married Jake anyway.

If the truth be told, marrying Jacob gave us both a little something to make us happy. Jacob got me and I got a constant supply of him. The drug that made me feel a little better.

Marring Jake was also an attempt at keeping my promise to Edward that day he left me in the woods. I hadn't done well on the one where I was supposed to stay safe and avoid danger so this was my attempt at the" be _normal and happy"_ one. Normal I was willing to try, but happy? _Without_ Edward? Not possible! And what is _normal_ anyway? It felt as though I was a cat and he was telling me to bark. For me**,** my _normal_**,** was me as a vampire spending eternity with Edward.

Being with Jacob those first few months after Edward left is what kept me from being sent to Florida or the Psychiatric Hospital which were the options Charlie was debating. Things were easy with Jacob. We sat in his garage-well the two sheds pushed together to form something that functioned like a garage anyway-working on his Rabbit and drinking warm sodas from a paper bag. After a while I would be laughing and forgetting Edward, barely able to feel the gaping hole in my chest.

The more Jacob and I were together, the harder it was to not be with him. He had left permanent marks all over me where he had put me back together. The mark left on my heart after he repaired that was the one I felt the most and the one that made it especially hard to turn down Jacob the night he proposed at our spot on the tree down at First Beach.

Just after we were married, Sam and Emily found out they were pregnant. Billy and Charlie immediately started asking when we were thinking of starting our family. I knew Jake wanted to but I couldn't. Marrying him was one thing, but I wasn't going to start a family till I grew to love him more. I think it also had something to do with that nagging feeling and fear that Jake would leave me. Bringing kids into our mess didn't seem right, and in the end I _was_ right.

Tempting as it was to stay in bed and pull the sheet over my head, I got up anyway. I drug myself out of bed and into the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. A task made a little difficult because everything in my new apartment here in Port Angeles was still in boxes. I managed to find what I needed then headed to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal and to call Charlie. I am supposed to head over to Forks today to pack up my old bedroom now that Charlie has finally managed to sell his house with his wedding only a week away.

It took him long enough to propose to Sue. Almost 4 years, but Charlie was a little gun shy given his previous experience with marriage. Well technically around 3 years since they didn't "officially" start dating till about a year after Harry died. He has been so happy with Sue, happier than I have ever seen him, that this will be a good thing. And even though he is moving over to La Push, he was able to work out a deal with Forks to keep his job. His new officer will be handling the day to day stuff and Charlie can come to Forks as needed and for his scheduled shifts. For Charlie this is his perfect. He gets to live in the area he loves, keep the job he loves, and marry the woman he loves. Some people can just get everything they want all wrapped up in a pretty package and handed to them. Damn it all to hell**.** I just hate those people, even if I am related to them.

After washing my dishes and arranging to meet Charlie at the house around noon, I decided it was time to call Jake. We hadn't talked in a couple of days and I thought I should call to let him know I was getting settled in my new place and find out if he had started the divorce proceedings yet. He felt so awful he insisted I let him handle everything. I wasn't sure how the Quileute tribe viewed divorce, everyone I knew from La Push was either married or widowed, but Jake assured me everything would be handled quietly and quickly. I appreciated this seeing as how I would not be able to escape spending time in La Push.

Jacob answered on the first ring. "Hello."

"Hey Jake, it's Bella." I tried my best to sound as least depressed as possible.

"Hey Bells I was just going to call you," he replied sounding awkward and uncomfortable. "Are you coming to La Push later this afternoon with Charlie?"

"I hadn't planned on it. Why?"

"It's just….ummm….well, the papers are ready to be signed," Jake said. His voice thick with the tension we were both feeling.

"Oh…wow…well I could probably come over for a bit to take care of that. I can't stay long though because I have dinner plans here in Port Angeles at 7." Jake had said this would be handledquietly and quickly, but I had hoped more for the quiet than the quick. Even though Jake always loved me more, this was still painful. Not a hard task when his heart had more room in it for his love for me. Mine was forever split between the greatest love of my life and the best friend I was married to.

"Everything is drawn up all you have to do is sign it shouldn't take more than 5 minutes," Jake replied with a little more ease this time after sensing the comfort I was deceptively placing in my tone to make this less stressful.

"Okay, sounds good."

"By the way Bells, how's the new place?" Jake was always trying to revert back to our friendship by calling me Bells and attempting casual conversation. I just couldn't flip that easily, but I was trying.

"Good. It's a little small and feels even smaller since I haven't unpacked, but it has potential. When I am all unpacked you and Abby should come by for dinner." Abby was the unintentional waitress/home wrecker Jake imprinted on. Like I said trying…..

Jake seemed taken aback by my offer. I hadn't made many attempts at returning his friendly gestures or getting to know Abby. "That sounds great Bella. Just let me know. I know Abby would love to meet you. Well, officially anyway."

"OK Jake I'll see ya later."

"OK. Bye Bells."

*************************************************************************************************************************

I got to the house a little before noon and Charlie called to let me know his tux fitting was running long and would be another half hour so I let myself in and headed up to by old bedroom with some boxes. I really tried to avoid this place at all costs because I could feel him the strongest in this room. I lay down on my old bed and closed my eyes. If I really concentrated it was almost like he was here with me. I could feel his hard, cool arms around me. I could feel his lips on my cheek. I could almost smell that intoxicating breath. Too much more of this and I would not make it through my day, so I forced myself up to get started.

As I stood up I reached up to rub my neck and my necklace snapped off and slipped into a crack in the floorboards. Since I'm not a big fan of jewelry, normally this would not bother me, but this was a gift from my mom for my high school graduation and she would probably be upset if I lost it. So I went down stairs to find a hammer and came back to pry open the floorboard.

Now if you had told me this morning about what happened next I would have never believed you. I still feel a little shocked myself. Like waking up from a dream that feels so real you are trying to decide if it was really a dream or really happening.

I pried open the floorboard just enough to slip my hand in and retrieve my necklace when I felt my hand bump into something else. So I pried a little more, maybe a little too much seeing as I cracked it in half, and sat there with my mouth gaping in complete and utter amazement. I then felt three emotions at the same time that normally don't go together. Shock. Anger. And excitement.

Shock because I wasn't sure I was really seeing this or if it was one of those optical illusions. Like when you're in the desert parched and see the big blue ice cold lake.

Anger because I could not believe this was hidden from me and I never knew it and never ran across it.

Excitement because they were the most precious items I ever owned….and had it all back.

Because right there beneath the floorboard…….

Hidden all this time………..

Were the presents from my 18th birthday.

**A/N: Since this is my very first fan fiction, suggestions and constructive criticism are appreciated! Please review because reviews will get teasers for chapter 2. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: OMG!!! You guys are so freakin' awesome! Not many reviews, but lots of peeps adding me to their story alerts and fav author. I am so flattered that you guys have accepted me after just one chapter! I hope you guys stick with me because I have so much planned for this story. You should see my notes, it's crazy!**

**I need to take a second to thank a few people. A very special thank you to shelbielyncullen. She is a truly wonderful friend who has read my chapters as I have written them offering her notes and advice. Thank you so much! I appreciate your friendship more than you know!**

**Second thank you goes out to my brother and his wife. They also helped form the beginning chapters and were a tremendous amount of support to me. Jeremy thanks for always being honest. Katie thanks for being the best sister a girl could ever ask for.**

**Last, but certainty not least, a big BIG thank you to my beta gjmom!**

**I own nothing, nada, zip! Not even the Wonderwall stuff below. I got that from urban dictionary ******

**No copyright infringement is intended**

********************************************************************************************************

_Wonderwall_

_The person of which you have a total infatuation with__  
_

_A person with an indescribable aura, making them seem so perfect, almost intangible__  
_

_The person that you feel could be the one to "save you" from whatever unhappiness or emptiness you feel__  
_

_The person you feel could complete you__  
_

_Your soul mate_

******************************************************************************************

**CHAPTER 2: IMPRINTING AND OTHER DISASTERS**

**JPOV**

It had been a bad fucking three weeks.

The night I proposed to Bella was the happiest of my life. I had promised to take care of her and told her that no one would ever hurt her ever again the way that bloodsucker had. I was so sure she would say yes but terrified she would say no at the same time. When she did say yes it wasn't like it is in movies. She didn't cry and jump up and down. She didn't throw her arms around me so I could pick her up and swing her in a circle while we kissed and everyone around us looked at us like we were crazy.

No Bella was a thinker. So she sat on our tree at our spot at First Beach and held the box in her hand while worrying on her bottom lip and thinking…..and thinking. Then she looked up at me with tears in the corner of her eyes and asked me one simple thing.

"Jake, if I say yes do you promise to stay with me forever. I just don't think I can live through another broken heart and…."

Still on one knee, I cupped her cheek and looked deep in her eyes. "Bella, I promise you are safe with me and I _will_ take care of you. I love you and want nothing more than for you to be happy. Say yes and I will spend the rest of our lives showing you all the love and happiness you deserve. Yes Bella, I promise to stay with you forever because that's how long it will take to show you all of that and so much more." I could have kept going but no amount of words would ever ease the fear she had that I would leave her the way that leech had.

Bella took a deep breath and I could see a hint of a smile around the corners of her mouth. "Yes Jake, I'll marry you."

I should have never made that promise, not with everything I knew about imprinting. For a long time I felt like it was just a myth. Then I convinced myself that Bella was my imprint and for some reason I couldn't see it. Like she had some sort of shield around her that kept me out, but that she was still mine….my imprint.

Then I took her out for our anniversary three weeks ago and fucked everything up. If it was an Olympic sport I would have medaled gold for this fuck up.

I made reservations months ago for this new restaurant in Port Angeles. Even though I called the week the restaurant opened, I still couldn't get a reservation for the night of our anniversary. I settled for the Friday night 4 days after our anniversary. Bella didn't mind though. She said it gave her 4 more days to put off shopping for an anniversary present. The way Bella loathed shopping I'm sure she had just got me a gift card like she did every year, but was saying that to make me feel better.

When we got to the restaurant the hostess seated us and explained they were short handed so it might be a while till our waitress would be able to get to our table. We used the time to exchange gifts, mine of course was the gift card and I gave Bella a Kindle with all her favorite books already downloaded to it, and then talked casually while we waited. We were in the middle of talking about Bella's dilemma of teaching another year or finishing her book when I heard THE voice. The voice that sounded like music and was soothing and more beautiful than anything else. When I looked up and my eyes met hers I was so sure it had happened that I almost cried.

Cried because I was so happy.

Cried because I was going to break my promise to Bella.

I had imprinted.

It was obvious the waitress felt something too because I could read it in her eyes. I saw the love and the joy and the…..tension.

I had told the restaurant we were celebrating our 5 year anniversary so we could get a better table so I was sure the waitress had been made privy to our situation. I could tell she was conflicted between ravishing me and maintaining a professional demeanor so as not to get bitch slapped in the middle of the restaurant by another man's wife. She didn't know Bella so she didn't know that would never happen.

After she took our order and left, neither Bella nor I said anything for what felt like forever. We didn't even look at each other. Then she finally spoke.

"So…you imprinted."

My gut told me to deny it as convincingly as possible, but I couldn't lie to Bella, "Ya, I think I may have. I doubt it though because I'm still thinking I was supposed to imprint on you. I mean I guess I will have to talk to Sam and get his imput…"

"Bullshit Jake," Bella snapped, "I was at the bonfire when Embry imprinted. I've seen the look you wolves get when you see THE one and that was definitely the look you just gave Amanda or Andrea or whatever her name is."

"Her name is Abigail."

Open mouth insert foot. That was a big fucking mistake. First I just affirmed I had been paying attention to the details concerning our waitress and second the passion in my voice confirmed my passion for her.

Bella took a deep, calming breath. "Jake, thanks for the gesture with the dinner and trying to make this less uncomfortable, but I just want to go home."

"Bella, we should at least stay and eat dinner and talk about this." I wanted to try and ease her discomfort, not sure if talking about it was the best plan, but I also needed to stay so I could talk to Abigail. Less than 10 minutes after imprinting and already I couldn't stand to have her out of my sight.

"No Jake, you stay and do whatever it is you need to do. I am going to take the car and go home."

And then she walked out. I guess she expected me to walk or get home as a wolf. By the next morning, Bella was already packing boxes and I was consulting Sam on how to go about divorcing Bella.

My cell phone ringing brought me back to the present. The caller id showed it was Bella and I knew I had to face the moment I had been dreading. The divorce papers were ready to sign.

"Hello."

"Hey Jake, it's Bella." She was trying to mask her depression, but I could still tell it was there. I could feel it even over the phone.

"Hey Bells I was just going to call you." I was trying to hide my awkwardness at the conversation that was coming, but Bella knew me so well – almost better then I knew myself – I was sure she could sense it. "Are you coming to La Push later this afternoon with Charlie?"

"I hadn't planned on it. Why?"

"It's just….ummm….well, the papers are ready to be signed." My voice was so clouded with tension I barely managed to get the words out at all.

"Oh…wow…well I could probably come over for a bit to take care of that. I can't stay long though because I have dinner plans here in Port Angeles at 7." I could tell this was hard for her. Who could blame her? Not me. I was the fucker who broke the heart I spent months repairing and may never be able to be whole again. I was the fucker who broke my promises to her and was leaving her on her own.

"Everything is drawn up all you have to do is sign it shouldn't take more than 5 minutes," I replied with a little more ease this time after sensing that this conversation was going _way _better than I thought it would.

"Okay, sounds good." Another one of her short and to the point answers. I was getting used to those as they were all I was getting from Bella lately.

I decided to make an attempt at casual conversation even though I knew going back to a platonic relationship would be difficult. "By the way Bells, how's the new place?"

After I imprinted and it was obvious we were divorcing, Bella and I sold our house and split the proceeds. I moved back in with Billy and Bella got an apartment and stayed in Port Angeles to keep her teaching job. "Good. It's a little small and feels even smaller since I haven't unpacked, but it has potential. When I am all unpacked you and Abby should come by for dinner."

I was a little shocked at the invitation. Bella had never seemed interested in getting to know Abby and I didn't expect her to. But I could tell she was trying so I accepted. "That sounds great Bella. Just let me know. I know Abby would love to meet you. Well, officially anyway."

"OK Jake I'll see ya later."

"OK. Bye Bells."

I flipped my phone closed and opened the kitchen drawer. There they were. The symbols of my broken promises. The divorce papers. After this afternoon, it would be over. I could feel my eyes welling up and went to my room to call Abby. Even though it was an awkward situation, she was my perfect other half and would be able to give me the comfort I needed.

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I didn't realize I had fallen asleep till my cell phone rang and woke me up. Bella was calling me to let me know she was on her way but there was something else. I couldn't tell what it was but she sounded weird. Not upset or anything just …anxious. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on, but she just said she would tell me when she got here. I had my doubts because she had a hard time confiding in me like she used to.

About 30 minutes later I heard her pull up in her car. Her truck finally gave up the ghost a few years back about the same time she got her teaching job so she went and bought herself a Dodge Stratus. Even before her car came to a full stop she was starting to get out and walk towards me.

"Hey Jake. You got the papers." She was half running and almost tripped over her own feet. Classic Bella. In any other situation I would have laughed.

"Geez Bella, anxious much. I know you want to get this over with but…"

"I…it's just…well…something has come up and I need to get back to Port Angeles as soon as I can. "

"Bells, what's going on? Why are you acting like this?" Her lips formed a hard line and her eyes narrowed. Yep, she definitely was up to something. And she was going to try and hide it.

"Jake, if I tell you…you'll try to talk me out of it. You won't understand."

"We have spent the last 6 years together; I think I might understand you better than you think."

She shook her head vigorously at me. "Not this. This is the one thing you _don't_ talk about."

The silence lasted only a fraction of a second. "You are fucking kidding me! Are you insane! Three weeks apart and we are going to dredge up your bloodsucker past! Why? You don't know where he is and in case you forgot he threw you away like trash!" I had to stop there because I could already feel myself trembling and the vibrations up and down my spine. Transforming now would be a bad fucking idea.

"That's just it. I don't think he really truly didn't want me." She was walking back to her car and I followed. All the while racking my brain for a way to talk her out of whatever crazy idea she was considering.

She opened the passenger side door and pulled out a box. "Look at this. I was packing up my room and found this under a floorboard. If he truly wanted it to be as if he never existed he would have burned all this or taken it with him but instead he left it. I think he was hoping deep down that maybe one day I would find it and now I have." She paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "I'm going to try to find him Jacob."

There it was. The crazy plan is out in the open. I took a very deep breath and clenched my fists at my sides. The anger was boiling now and staying together was a big fucking challenge. "Bells." _Wrong approach. Be formal, stand firm. _"Bella. I realize my imprinting and leaving you for Abby has been hard, but think about this. Think about what you're doing. What about Charlie?"

"I am. That's why I am going to spend the next week doing research online to try and track down Carlisle through the AMA, then after the wedding I am leaving Port Angeles to start following leads. If it weren't for Charlie and Sue's wedding I would probably leave as soon as I had something to go on." I could hear the determination in her tone. There was no faltering her in her resolve.

Bella put the box back in her car and turned to face me. I was speechless because I knew there was nothing I could say to talk her out of this. Nothing at all and it was absolutely _killing _me.

"Look Jake. I am not sure how long I will be gone and I don't want to hold up yours and Abby's plans so let's sign the papers and I'll be on my way. I'm sorry this has upset you….."

"Sure, sure. Whatever." I turned and walked away not even sure if she was following. I just couldn't listen anymore. My anger had ebbed and now I just felt sadness. Bella was attracted to danger like a moth to the flame. She was going no matter what. I didn't have to watch though.

When I got to the kitchen and pulled the papers out of the drawer I caught a glimpse of Bella out of my peripheral vision. She reached out, grabbed a pen, signed by the tabs marked for her, and walked away.

"I'll see you at the wedding," she called over her shoulder as she walked away from me and out of my life.

Ya, like I said it had been a fanfuckingtastic three weeks.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed a little more back story and JPOV! I hope you had as much fun reading this chapter as I had writing this chapter. I am working on scheduling updates to be weekly, but this one you get a little early. Look for chapter 3 next weekend. Please remember to review because reviews get teasers for Chapter 3.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: You guys are awesome! The reviews have been amazing and they just keep coming! I am glad everyone is enjoying the story and I hope y'all stick around because I have a lot of stuff planned for this story!

A lot of readers feel Jake isn't remorseful enough over what he did to Bella. I completely agree that he isn't and I don't think I am going to change that. I told one reviewer that I couldn't be 100% positive, but I don't remember SM making Sam all that sorry over leaving Leah for Emily. The only one bitter there was Leah and Bella is definitely going to be bitter toward Jake for a while. You'll see more of that coming up in chapters 4 and 5.

You may notice I didn't use a Wonderwall definition below. I used something a little different for this chapter and I think it will make sense to you after you read the chapter.

Now to my thank yous :) JRsgirl and shelbielyncullen (have you guys checked out Re Born yet?), without your support this chapter would still be on my computer and I never would have had the courage to post it! And another big thank you to my wonderful beta qjmom!

I own nothing except WAY too many pictures of Robert Pattinson on my computer

_If I should die before I wake__  
__It's 'cause you took my breath away__  
__Losing you is like living in a world with no air__  
__Oh__  
__I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave__  
__My heart won't move, it's incomplete__  
__Wish there was a way that I can make you understand___

_But how do you expect me__  
__To live alone with just me__  
__'Cause my world revolves around you__  
__It's so hard for me to breathe_

_No Air – Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown_

**CHAPTER 3: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT**

**BPOV**

I stood in the bathroom trembling and telling myself that I should not be nervous. It wasn't like I was a virgin or anything. Obviously, in the time I was with Jacob we had been intimate. But it is hard to make love to someone when you are not completely in love with them….even if that person is your husband. However, the guy on the other side of this door was by far the most amazing guy in existence and I was terrified I would disappoint him. I had never felt very sensual or sexy in my relationship with Jacob.

Adding to my nervousness, my head was reeling as I attempted to sort through all the advice my girlfriends had offered over lunch yesterday and I was starting to feel dizzy to the point of passing out. But that would definitely disappoint Edward if I passed out in the bathroom and didn't come out, so I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. After a minute I felt better and started focusing on the advice that was supposed to help me make this the night everything I wanted it to be for me and Edward. I removed my robe and admired my black teddy in the mirror. I took a brush and teased my hair and added some hairspray so the wild tousled look would stay in place, at least for now. Not for long if things went according to plan…..

I exited the bathroom and sauntered across the hall to his bedroom where Edward was sitting on his bed waiting for me. "Wow," he breathed, almost inaudibly. I walked closer and reached out to take his face in my hands and kiss him. For a minute it was just like the other kisses we had shared all those years ago, chaste and guarded, but then in the blink of an eye it changed. He stood up and brushed his hands up my sides along my ribcage, curved around my back and kept moving up till his hands were twisted in my hair and suddenly he was moaning in my mouth as his tongue gently massaged mine. This is everything I was hoping for that I was afraid his control would never let happen.

He gently pulled back and started pecking featherweight kisses along my jaw line and down my neck. "Edward, mmm," I purred as he gradually melted away my nervous tension with his hot passionate kisses. I groaned as I felt his hands twist tighter in my hair. He pulled almost to the point of being painful, but it was very erotic and instantly raised my arousal another notch. I reciprocated the gesture by sliding my fingertips from his face and fisting my own hands into his hair.

"Uuhhnn….Edward….I….mmmm….I want you…," I murmured as I struggled to form a coherent sentence.

"What?" he crooned against my neck. "Tell me Bella. Tell me what you want." As he did his cool breath shot straight through me and down to my thoroughly wet center.

In that moment I needed him so badly that I thought I would spontaneously combust if I didn't have him.

"Mmmm…I _need_ you…'" I corrected, "I need you…hhmmm….inside me." I rasped between kisses I was working in along the side of his face to the crook beneath his ear.

So quickly I saw it in a hazy blur, Edward grabbed my waist, spun me around, and threw me to the bed. Suddenly I was pinned to the bed beneath his ice cold body and rock hard erection.

"Bella, Oh God Bella, I need you too…so much." As Edward said this he returned to fisting his right hand in my hair while slowly snaking his left hand down over my stomach and to my hot, wet, center. He then pulled the fabric of the black teddy aside and plunged his fingers into my soft folds.

"Uuuggghhh Edward, oh fuck." The contact was just what I wanted but more than I expected him to give me.

Edward then crushed his lips into mine with so much fierceness-so much passion-I knew that this was it. He was giving in and not holding back anything.

He was going to lose his control.

Sensing this I took my right hand and found the button to his jeans and his zipper, making quick work of removing his pants as he removed the hand from my hair to assist me. I then removed his shirt, groaning at the momentary loss of contact when his hand left my thoroughly dripping sex.

Edward then tried to gingerly remove my teddy but was having some trouble given he was still on top of me and I definitely didn't want to move and lose that contact again.

"Rip it Edward." I stated with a low growl in my voice.

"Bella….."

"Just fucking rip it off." I looked deep into his eyes so he knew I was serious and less than a second later I was as naked as he was.

I can't even begin to describe the feeling the first time our naked bodies came into contact. It was incredible. Nothing else in the world compares to feeling Edward naked on top of me.

His hand had returned to its ministrations over my clit and with every down stoke he would teasingly slip a finger in. It was driving me fucking insane and I now decided it was time to return that favor. I took my hand and found his cock and started stroking.

"Oh fuck Bella!" He then took the hand that wasn't busy elsewhere and placed it flat on the bed. Trying not to lose what little control he had left.

After a couple seconds, he seemed to be better and moved that hand to palm my breast, the other hand started working faster, more deliberate circles around my clit. He pinched my clit and my nipple at the same time and I groaned and felt my eyes roll in the back of my head. Edward's eyes went pitch black.

_Oh. My. God._ "Ohhh Eedwward…" I groaned and bit my bottom lip just a bit giving in to the moment. He then closed the little space between our faces and crushed his lips to mine. It was passionate. It was fucking incredible.

While teasing me with his fingers had been, in a way, an answer to my needing him inside me, it wasn't technically what I meant.

I took the hand that wasn't stroking his cock and fisted a handful of his hair breaking the kiss we were engaged in and looked deep into his eyes.

"Fuck me Edward. Fuck me hard and with everything you've got," I had never been quite this forceful before and wasn't sure how he would react.

I definitely didn't expect this.

Edward reached into the nightstand and pulled out a foil packet. I saw him rip it open and grabbed his wrist.

"I want to do it." I rolled with him so he was now beneath me and I was straddling him. I leaned down to kiss him and very lightly traced with my fingertips from his shoulder to his rock hard length. As I rolled it down, I let my fingernails just barely graze his shaft and my reward was a deep guttural moan.

Edward was nibbling at my ear, lightly scraping his teeth along my ear lobe and then murmured, "Bella you are so fucking sexy and now I'm going to show you just what you do to me."

Edward's velvety voice plus the word fuck mixed together equals one fucking horny Bella. My thighs were now drenched.

Edward switched us back to our original positions and rested his cock at my wet hot center. He looked deep into my eyes as he silently asked permission to do what we both so desperately wanted. Knowing words would not come close to expressing everything I wanted to tell him in that moment, I simply reached up and cradled his face in my hands and brought him to me for yet another, deep, passionate kiss.

Then in one fluid motion, Edward thrust into me completely.

Neither one of us was prepared for the intense sensation or the emotions that came with it.

At the exact moment Edward sheathed himself into me fully a loud "Fuck," slipped from my lips and my arms went above my head so my hands could grasp the headboard for support.

Edwards also muttered a "Fuck," simultaneously with mine but returned to placing his palms flat on the bed to maintain control.

We were both still for a moment, getting used to the way our bodies felt and fit together so perfectly. Then slowly Edward pulled out till only the tip was in and then thrust into me again as if to see if the sensation would still be too much.

"God damn Bella you are so fucking tight," Edward grunted out through clenched teeth. He was setting a rhythm with his thrusts now that had him hitting my sweet spot each time.

I was panting and breathing so hard that if I thought forming coherent sentences before was difficult, attempting it now would be just plain moronic. I brought him back to me to continue kissing him and let him know how blissfully happy I was by moaning in his mouth and lightly nibbling on his bottom lip.

I was thrusting my hips in time with Edward entering me fully. Our rhythm was perfect. He was hitting my G spot every time. It was like we were made to fit together perfectly which might explain the intense pleasure we felt every time he was fully sheathed inside me.

I reached out and took both Edward's hands in mine and brought each one to my mouth one at a time to kiss them while looking in his eyes to let him know I trusted him completely. I then led one to my breast and one to my clit and let go, knowing he would get the idea. I took one of my hands and fisted his hair, the other scratching my nails down his back.

We were moaning, panting, and sweating. I could feel my orgasm building and knew I was close, but wanted to come with him so I held it off. Just as I was about to verbalize this need to Edward, he beat me to it.

"Bella, love, come with me. I want to feel you come with me. I want to see it in your eyes."

That was it. That was my undoing and suddenly my body was shuddering and his name was falling from my lips with each convulsion of my orgasm. My moans of _'oh Edward'_ were almost inaudible, but I knew he could hear each one.

My orgasm triggered his and I realized that I had been wrong earlier when I thought that nothing else in the world compared to feeling Edward naked on top of me. There was something better and it was this. The feeling of Edward buried deep inside me and filling me with his warm liquid love. This feeling was giving me the best orgasm I had ever had. Of course I only had Jake to compare with, but that didn't matter. I was still sure this was the best orgasm I would ever have. That is until we made love again.

Edward coming down from his orgasm pulled me from my thoughts and I watched him carefully pull out of me and climb off the bed. He disposed of his condom in the wastebasket by the bed and then came back to join me.

I was staring into his eyes, completely blissed out, when he pulled me as close to his body as possible and kissed me. "Bella…"

I was about to say something in response, but I thought there was something off about his voice and I couldn't quite place what it was. He said my name again, I guess because I hadn't said anything since we had finished making love, but this time I was _positive_ his voice was different. He definitely didn't sound like himself. I wondered what it was or why he would sound this way. I'm sure the look on my face conveyed my confusion and I had opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong when he spoke again.

"Bella you're going to be late." Now I was confused and still trying to place the difference in his voice. Then it hit me.

IT. WASN'T. HIS. VOICE.

It was Jacob.

I looked into Edward's eyes and started to cry. "I don't want to leave." I was cupping his face trying to hold on to what was left of my dream.

Edward spoke again, although this time I knew the voice was Jacob. "Bella, come on we have to go."

Even thought the voice was Jake, I answered as if it was Edward. The tears were soaking my dream pillow and Edward brushed the ones on my cheek with his thumb. "Please don't make me go."

"Bells, we are out of time. Wake. Up."

I kissed Edward one last time with everything I had. I looked at him and memorized his face as he gave me his signature crooked grin. It broke my heart into a million pieces. Then I did the impossible. I left my dream and Edward.

I opened my eyes to a clearly annoyed Jake. "It is about fucking time! I am so glad I convinced the doorman to let me in. Do you have any idea how late you're going to make us to the rehearsal dinner?!"

I made a mental note to have the doorman fired and told Jake I would be ready in 10 minutes. While Jake went on ranting and raving about being late and calling Sam and Abby, I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and cried silent tears for the love I had to say goodbye to and may never see again.

Starting tomorrow it would be different. Tomorrow began my search for the Cullens' and my fight for Edward

A/N: In all the time have written, I have NEVER written anything quite like this. It was an experiment and I wrote it as a dream sequence on purpose so that if I hated it or it didn't work I wasn't locked into using it. That said, I let fellow Twilighter and friend, shelbielyncullen, read it and she LOVED it. Her words. So here it is. Review, but be nice :) I am trying to respond to every review but it might take a while so be patient :) Don't forget that I give teasers for chapter 4 with your review!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: First off I am so sorry. RL is kicking my ass and not only did I have to work two jobs last week, I was also sick. So if you reviewed and I haven't responded yet, I'll get to it soon...I hope :) I am also a little behind on my writing schedule, but am trying to catch up and hope to still bring you new chapters every week. I may have an issue with that that though because.......

My son's football season started and with games every Saturday for the next 6 weeks, I will not be able to submit new chapters to my beta till Sunday at the earliest, so these next few chapters will be coming a little later than they have been. Saturday is also the day I did most of my writing. New chapters will likely be posted midweek instead of the weekend from now on.

Please be patient with me because you guys seem to be really enjoying my little fic (way more than I thought anyone would lol) and I just want to make it the best I can! Your little reward for my evil trick last chapter? This chapter is my longest yet and the first part is in Jacob's POV :)

Thanks to the usual suspects :) shelbielyncullen, JRsgirl, and my super awesome beta qjmom. You gals rock!

I own nothing except the apartment complex. I found the Port Angeles restaurant on google, but no apartment complexes so that is mine :)

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Wonderwall

A person you love no matter what

A person you can never get mad at

A person you think of at night before you go to bed

A person you can't let go of

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**CHAPTER 4: Frenemies**

**JPOV**

Even though there wasn't a ceremony rehearsal we were still having a rehearsal dinner. Bella actually put it together at the last minute saying it would give her a chance to spend time with everyone before she left to find the Cullens'. I told her that she would see everyone at the wedding, but she thought that would be too chaotic. So she organized a small intimate dinner for family and close friends at Michael's Seafood and Steakhouse in Port Angeles.

Charlie, Sue, and Billy were taking Charlie's new Chevy Tahoe. Sam, Emily and Paul were following in Sam's F150. Quil, Embry, and I were in my Dodge Ram. Once I passed 6 feet, the Rabbit was just too small even when I was the only one in it. Seth, Leah, Jared and everyone else were also coming but not Abby. Abby was working tonight so she could have tomorrow off for the wedding.

I left first to meet Bella at the restaurant. We were to set things up with the restaurant and the others were following about thirty minutes behind me which wasn't going to give us much time to get things organized but we would have to make due.

I was driving a little too fast trying to get there sooner mainly because I wanted to make sure Bella, Quil, Embry, and I would have plenty of time to have things ready for Charlie and Sue, but also because I was so fucking tired of listening to Quil and Embry argue about their fantasy football league picks. How they had time for that shit was beyond me. Every free moment I had I spent with Abby or sleeping. I guess with Claire still too young to date and Katie, Embry's imprint, away a lot for work, they have more free time. I still didn't get it though, the fantasy football obsession, surely there were better uses for excess free time. Not that I would know.

As I approached Port Angeles I realized the apartment complex Bella just moved to was on my way to the restaurant. I decided to drive by to peek at it and make sure it looked safe and secure seeing as how Bella attracts all kinds of danger. When I got there I noticed her car was still there and thought that was weird because she should have already left. I decided I would go check to make sure everything was alright.

"Quil, Embry. I'll be right back." I got out, not sure if they even heard a word I said. They were coming to blows over a quarterback. If one of them phases in my truck I will fucking kill them.

When I got to the lobby a doorman approached me and asked which apartment.

"Bella Black, I…err… mean Swan. Isabella Swan."

"All visitors have to be announced. Just a moment please." He started to walk over to a phone then looked back at me. "What was your name sir?"

"Jake Black." I liked this place already. Good security. I should tell him anyone coming by with the last name Cullen is part of a family of psychopathic serial killers.

He walked over to the desk and picked up a phone to call Bella. I looked around taking the rest of the place in. There were little security cameras everywhere and in a corner I spotted a security office with an officer inside.

The doorman came back and asked if Bella had been expecting me.

"No. We are supposed to be meeting at Michael's, but I saw her car was still here so I thought I would stop by."

"Well are you sure she didn't get there some other way. She did not answer her phone."

Knowing Charlie, Sam and everyone else were behind me I knew that wasn't possible. "No she should be there. Can I just go up and check on her, make sure she's ok. She's kind of a klutz. I would hate to think she is hurt or something and I didn't help her when I was right here."

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't let unknown people into her apartment."

"I understand that, I do. But I'm her best friend and soon her ex-husband." I choked the words out at the end and it sounded sad and pathetic even to me. It was also the first time I used the phrase 'ex-husband' to describe my connection to Bella.

"So legally you're still married…."

"Just till next week. It's a long story, but ya still married."

"Well that changes things." He walked over to the desk again, opened a cupboard on the wall, and grabbed a key. "Since you're her husband, technically, I can let you in, technically. She is on the third floor, apartment 3F."

I took the key, a little shocked at how easy that was. I had been pretty impressed with the security till now. Could the bloodsucker just walk in here and also claim to be her husband and get in that easily? I might have to talk to management about that little issue.

"Thanks," I replied and swiftly made my way to the elevators before someone stopped me.

I made my way to Bella's apartment and knocked on the door. I wasn't going to use the key unless I had to. After a few seconds passed, I knocked again and still no answer. I was just about to knock again when I heard moaning. Now I was worried, thoughts of her hurt flooding my brain again, so I used the key and let myself in.

Bella had unpacked some, but there were still lots of boxes. I fleetingly wondered if she was going to keep her apartment or put things in storage while she was on her little 'trip', then I heard the moaning again. It was coming from the direction of what I figured to be her bedroom.

Bella wasn't the type to sleep around so my only thought was the moaning was because she was in pain. I made my way to the bedroom and found Bella lying on her bed. What I saw was not what I expected. She was clearly not in pain.

Bella was contorted in a position that had one hand in her hair and the other on her breast. She was writhing and moaning and…..having an erotic dream. She had a few of these while we were together and I always wondered who she was dreaming of which was immediately followed by 'it better not be fucking Cullen.'

It always was though. She would unintentionally wake me up during the night having one of these dreams and then I would lay there and listen to her moan his name over and over and over. This one was more of the same. I heard her moan his name and saw her body shudder just slightly.

I had never woken her or mentioned my knowledge of these dreams, so now I was truly conflicted. Do I wake her so we can get to the restaurant? Will it embarrass her? Upset her? Do I leave and pretend like I was never here?

I figured the latter would not work because the doorman would surely mention something in passing one day and then I would be busted. So I walked over, placed a hand gently on her shoulder, and called out to her. "Bella…"

I called her again this time shaking her shoulder just slightly. She didn't show any signs of waking so I shook her again. "Bella you're going to be late."

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and she muttered something that sounded like _'don't want to go'_, so I shook her again, "Bella come on we have to go."

The tears were soaking her pillow now and she muttered _'please don't make me'_.

My heart broke for her, but I sure as shit wasn't going to explain to Charlie and everyone that the reason she was late was because she was dreaming of fucking the bloodsucker so I put a little more stress into my voice, and called her by the name Edward never did to help pull her from the dream. "Bells, we are out of time. Wake. Up."

She finally looked up at me, eyes rimmed red, and for a split second I was going to comfort her. Then I remembered she had been dreaming of the leech and my anger came out instead. "It is about fucking time! I am so glad I convinced the doorman to let me in. Do you have any idea how late you're going to make us to the rehearsal dinner?!"

She rolled off the bed and mumbled something about being ready in 10 minutes then went into the bathroom and locked herself in. I stood still for a moment wondering if the reaction was anger or embarrassment or both and then decided to just let her be and get ready. I told her through the door that I was going to call Sam and Abby. Sam to see if he could get to Michael's a little faster to help since we were clearly pressed for time now and Abby to help calm me down. Hopefully she was on a break and could talk.

True to her word, Bella came out of the bathroom 10 minutes later. She had brushed her hair, washed her face and changed her clothes. All traces of her earlier breakdown were gone but my dilemma from before I woke her remained. Do I say anything or let it go?

Bella must have read it on my face because she spoke before I had a chance to. "Jake, I…"

I cut her off trying to fend off the embarrassment I saw playing across her face. "Bells, it's fine. We don't need to talk about it. We need to go. Now." I was a little ruder with her than was probably necessary.

I started to walk past her to leave when she grabbed my arm to stop me. She turned her head towards me, but I continued to look towards the exit from this nightmare. "Jake. I'm sorry you walked in on that and I should tell you…this isn't the first…well I've…I've had these before. These dreams." Her tone was very somber and I could sense this was as difficult for her to say as it was for me to hear.

My gaze now was at my feet. "Bells, I know and I really don't want to talk about it," I replied through clenched teeth.

She let go of my arm and walked out to get her coat. I walked to the door to hold it open for her and we went back out to the car. I opened Bella's door and then walked around to get in. I noticed it was eerily quiet. I turned and looked in the back seat to see Quil and Embry with their backs to each other, arms crossed. I felt a smile slip across my lips and let out a low chuckle. "You two are so fucking immature. It is just some stupid fantasy football."

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**BPOV**

We rode to the restaurant in silence. Uncomfortable, awkward, and mind-numbingly awful silence. Quil and Embry were fighting about fantasy football…again. Jake was undeniably pissed at me. I wasn't even sure why I was in Jake's car. I just blindly followed him out to his car and got in. Shutting off my brain and going on auto-pilot was easier than dealing with thoughts of Edward.

When we arrived at Michael's, I was greeted by Sam, Emily, and Paul. We all managed to exit the car and put smiles on our faces like everything was fine. Fine, except for the fact that Jacob would not look me in the eye. He would look in my general direction, but not directly at my face. I briefly wondered how long this silent treatment would continue, but was interrupted by the maitre d' greeting us and leading us to the room they had set aside for the dinner. Everything was ready for us and we went to work putting the finishing touches on the tables. I also put little gifts at the spots where Charlie and Sue would be sitting. I bought new cuff links for my dad and a silver bracelet for Sue. They weren't much, but I thought maybe they could be the 'something new'.

About an hour later everyone had arrived and the food had been served. Everyone was eating and carrying on casual conversations. Sue and my dad thanked me for the gifts and for putting together the dinner. Everything seemed to be going great except for the fact Jacob was still avoiding me like I had bubonic plague. I had a few glasses of liquid courage and decided enough was enough and steeled myself to walk over to his table and settle this.

As I approached his table I noticed him laughing animatedly with Billy and Charlie and hoped I could use his good mood to my advantage and have this be a little easier.

I was coming at him from behind so I tapped him on the shoulder. "Jake can I talk with you for a minute?"

His good mood evaporated so fast it felt like someone sucked all the air out of the room. "Whatever." One word replies were _never_ a good sign.

Without another word or so much as a glance in my direction, Jake scrapped his chair along the floor, got up, and turned to face me. Jake cocked an eyebrow at me telling me without words that he was going to take my lead. I turned on my heel and walked out the back door.

As soon as we were outside I sharply turned to face him. Feeding off his facial expressions I was probably a little too short with him. "So, can I ask why you have been such a bastard to me for the last week?"

He let out a huff and rolled his eyes a little. "You said it so yourself Bella. This is the one thing we _don't_ talk about."

I crossed my arms and stalked over to him. "So basically you're saying 'no I can't ask' and 'yes you're going to continue being a complete shit to me'. I cocked my eyebrow at him accepting his challenge.

"Bells, go on your little vampire scavenger hunt. Track them down, let Edward change you, do whatever you wish. I don't care anymore and I am _not_ going to support you. So. Don't. Ask." During his little speech he closed the remaining distance between us and was now just inches from my face.

I don't know what came over me, weeks of pent up anger over Abby combined with the discovery of my long lost birthday gifts, but I just snapped. I took a step back to put just enough space between Jacob and I that the palm of my hand could sharply meet his cheek. He reached up and massaged his jaw a little then looked at me. It was a little dramatic considering my wrist hurt more than his jaw. I knew from a previous experience that attempts to cause him physical pain ended up backfiring. I was sure though, that my eyes were shooting daggers at him. I could feel it.

I looked away because I thought I might cry and I didn't need that. "I haven't asked much of you. I didn't ask for you to handle the divorce. I didn't ask for you to split the house with me. Those were things you offered out of friendship, or at least I thought. Maybe it was out of guilt over Abby." I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "All I am asking now is for you to have some compassion and understanding even if you don't agree with what I am doing. _That_ is what friendship is Jake. Is that too much to ask?"

Jacob was still massaging his jaw, trying to garner sympathy I guess. I wasn't sure, but I thought he also might be trying to hold back tears as well.

"No Bella. It isn't too much to ask. But it is more than I can give you. I'm sorry." He spoke barely above a whisper and then walked back into the restaurant.

I followed behind him and went to retrieve my coat and purse from my seat. I was emotionally spent and just wanted to go home. I told Charlie and Sue goodnight and went to leave and then I remembered. I came with Jacob. I guess I would be walking back to my apartment.

I was about to walk out the front when I heard someone calling me. "Bella…..Bella what up a sec."

I turned around and saw my future step sister running towards me. "Hey Leah."

"Hey Bella. You're not leaving are you?"

I sighed and muttered out a response. "Ya, I'm really tired and we have a big day tomorrow."

Leah and I had become closer in the last month than we had been over the last 5 years. After word spread about Jake imprinting, Leah was the first one to call and offer her condolences and support to me. Having lost loves to imprinting and now becoming sisters, we had a lot we could relate to and she was easy to talk to. The only difference is my one true love wasn't Jake, it was Edward. Having made the decision to go after Edward, I was hoping at least she would give me some moral support since I undoubtedly was not getting that from Jacob. If the situations were reversed and she had a shot with Sam, I would support her.

Leah had a sly smile on her lips. "Well….I know how you feel about gifts and all, but I was out shopping with Sue and Emily the other day and I found this." She then pulled a gift wrapped box from behind her back.

"What's this?"

As I opened it she responded, "We saw these in a jewelry store window and as luck would have it they had exactly 3 left and they go perfectly with the bridesmaid dresses. I was hoping that you, Emily, and I could wear them tomorrow."

I opened the box and pulled out the necklace. It was a simple silver chain with a tear drop pendant. Three sapphires that started small and increased in size. The deep blue was a perfect match to the dresses.

I hated jewelry, but wasn't entirely sure Leah had known that so I acted happy. "It's beautiful Leah. Of course I'll wear it." I forced a smile but Leah could tell something was wrong.

"So why are you really leaving and _don't_ say it is because you are tired because I can tell something is bothering you. I've also seen how Jake has been cold towards you tonight so spill."

I let out a sigh and shrugged my shoulders. "Feel like going for a walk?"

"Sure. Seth is my ride back to La Push so give me just a sec." She walked back in to talk to Seth and I slipped my coat on and waited outside. It was late June but still a little chilly out. It shouldn't be too bad for a walk though.

I closed my eyes and let the chill encompass me. I would imagine the wind was his gentle caresses. I would feel it on my ears and imagine him whispering loving words to me. I loved to do this, but it was dangerous at the same time. Just like when I was in my old bedroom, too much of this can be crushing when time to face reality again. Luckily, Leah came out at just the right time.

"Hey there you are. Ready to go?"

"Ya." It was silent for a minute while we started walking. I was gathering my thoughts and trying to figure out where to begin when Leah's impatience got the better of her.

"So are you going to spill it or do I have to drag it out of you?" She playfully bumped shoulders with me and giggled a little.

"Well, you're right about Jake and his cold attitude. He is a little pissed at me."

"What an asshole! What in the world does he think he has the right to be pissed at you about! Wait till I tell Seth! He will so kick his ass…."

I cut her off before we got to Jake's impending death. "Leah. Calm down. Do you even care why he is pissed at me?"

"I just think no matter what you did he could be a little compassionate and understanding with you considering what he did. I mean, ya imprinting is out of his control blah blah blah. I heard the same thing from Sam."

I chuckled at the choice of words seeing as they were the same ones I used with Jacob and had no success. "I'm about to do something though that Jacob sees as unforgivable no matter what the circumstances are." I stopped walking and hoped that with what I was about to say, I didn't lose what I saw as my last chance at moral support.

Leah noticed I had stopped walking and looked back at me. "What Bella? What are you about to do?"

"Go find the Cullens."

"Why? I mean why now? Because Jacob left you?" She didn't seem angry, which was good.

"No…well ya…maybe…I don't know. Why? Because Edward is my one true love. My soul mate. Why now? Because I have already wasted 5 years. And is it because Jacob left me? Partly. I feel like finding Edward is an inevitable thing that I just kept finding excuses to put off. I love Jacob but marrying him was a mistake. I should have never married him loving Edward the way I do. Now, I'm going to fix that. Put my life back on track and make me whole again."

Leah let out a deep breath as we continued walking. "So Jake didn't take the news well, I'm assuming you're not telling Charlie, and that leaves me as your support. Am I right?"

"Leah you don't have to agree with my decision. But yes, it would be nice if I had at least one person who I could talk to about this. Someone who will…I don't know…be there for me."

"Bella, I don't know much about the Cullens', but I do know 2 things. First, I know that they are Vampires that don't survive off human blood; therefore you are safe with them. Second, I know you are deeply in love with Edward." She paused and I saw a smirk on her face. "I also know I was madly in love with a wolf so who am I to judge you for being in love with a vampire?"

We both laughed for a moment and then she continued. "Bella, if it were me. I would go. I don't know yet if I completely agree with you, but you can count on me for support to get you through this. After all, isn't that what sisters are for?"

"Thanks Leah. That means a lot."

Just as we were approaching my apartment building I saw Seth park by the curb, but he didn't get out. Even though Leah had been so sure he would kick Jake's ass, he was obviously siding with Jacob.

"So when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow after the reception. I have a 10:30 flight to New Hampshire. I have a few leads and that's the first one I am following up on."

"What are you telling everyone?"

"You and Jake know the truth. Everyone else will think I am going on a job interview. I would like you to tell Charlie and Sue when they get back from the honeymoon, buy me some time. Then I will think of something else, but I don't plan on coming back for a while,"

"Aw, Bella….I don't know. I can support you, but lying to my mom. I don't think I can lie to her and she'll be able to tell."

"Please Leah."

Seth was getting impatient and honked the horn. "I'll do what I can. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow before you leave." She gave me a quick hug and whispered in my ear, "I love you Bella. I gotta go."

"I know. I love you too Leah and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for everything."

She got in the car and waved. I waved back and stood there for a moment before I went up to my apartment. I hated this place almost as much as my old bedroom, except I hated this place because of how empty it felt to walk in here. I went straight to my room and changed. I then crawled under the covers and opened my night stand. This had become my nightly ritual since the recovery of my birthday gifts. Looking at my picture of Edward I told him I loved him and would see him soon. Then I rolled over and let sleep take me. Hopefully to more sweet, steamy, hot, dreams of Edward.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed and that it was worth the little extra wait. Again I am sorry for the delay and changing when I am posting new chapters. Please remember to review :) Chapter 5 is written so reviews get teasers…..


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I hope you guys are not too terribly pissed at me for this taking so long. I kinda hinted about this last chapter but now I just have to come right out and admit it. I am not going to be one of those authors that can update once a week. I really wanted to be and I tried, but I am too much of a perfectionist. The best I can promise is that this is going to be a finished story and I will not be one of those authors that takes a month or more between updates. I have about 4 fics in my favorites that haven't been updated in a month or more and that sucks! Especially when there is a cliffie!

I admire lambcullen who not only updates weekly, but updates **3** fics weekly. If you haven't you should really go read Landscapes, Dearly Departed, and Tides. They are amazing and they all make me squee big time!!!

Thanks to my brother for reading the end of this chapter and telling me how bad it was so I could change it. I think it works now. Thanks also to my beta qjmom for putting up with me :)

You know the drill...SM owns all...I just write a different version of it!

Enjoy and thanks for reading!

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_Wonderwall_

_An infatuation so intense that the very thought of the person or object of interest is constantly_

_in your head,_

_on your tongue,_

_and beneath your skin_

_Driving you crazy or not, your wonderwall is your reason for living_

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**CHAPTER 5: Five Carlisle's and a Wedding**

**BPOV**

I am always running late and today was not the day for me to be running late. I had spent the last few hours finalizing my travel plans when I should have been getting ready for the wedding.

I had called the school yesterday and told them I would not be coming back for the fall term. I hated quitting my teaching position, but they had about 2 months to find a replacement this way. I figured I should play it safe and leave my options open. Who knew how long it would take for me to track down the Cullens'? I figured starting with Carlisle would be the easiest. A doctor who never changes his name and always lives in cloud covered places should be real easy to find, right?

Wrong!

First of all Carlisle Cullen was a much more common name then I thought. My research on the internet yielded 7 Carlisle Cullens' and only two of those lived somewhere sunny. One was in Florida and the other was in California so they were obviously not the Carlisle I was looking for. The other 5 were split between: Hanover, New Hampshire, Rochester, New York, Kalispell, Montana, Seattle, Washington, and St. Paul Island, Alaska. Washington and Alaska seemed too likely, so I skipped those and decided to start in New Hampshire and work my west. This seemed like my best bet. There was a Carlisle Cullen on staff at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center and Dartmouth was the college I had remembered Edward was fond of. I was trying to not get my hopes up, but I had a really good feeling about this.

My flight to Seattle left William R. Fairchild International Airport in Port Angeles at 10:35 and then my connection to Lebanon, New Hampshire was leaving at 11:55pm. I quickly printed out my boarding passes and then packed my laptop away in my messenger bag.

I was too chicken to tell my dad and I didn't want him stressed out before the wedding so Leah begrudgingly agreed to tell Sue and Charlie when they got back from their honeymoon that I went to New Hampshire for a job interview. By the time anyone got suspicious that I hadn't returned I would come up with a new cover story.

I was supposed to be in La Push by 3:00 and it was 1:45 so I was going to have to speed just to make it. I grabbed my suitcase and laptop and threw them in the backseat of my car, covering it all up with a blanket in case anyone got nosey and started asking questions. I then called Leah once I was on the road to have her relay that I was going to be a little late. Normally a bridesmaid being late would be a very bad thing, but Sue and Charlie opted for a small outdoor ceremony on the reservation so my duties consisted of standing at the altar and managing not to trip over my own feet on the way there.

**JPOV**

"Abby for the last time you look fine will you come on!" I shouted this up the stairs for the millionth time as I paced in the living room. I understood that she wanted to look perfect because she was meeting everyone except Bella and Billy for the first time, but really after 8 dresses, 3 different hairstyles, and over an hour of waiting I was getting really fucking impatient.

As I turned around to yell again, suddenly she was right in front of me. "I'm ready. How do I look?" Abby spun around and then dropped her hands to her side.

_Choose your words carefully Jake….the wrong thing said and this could stretch out another hour._

_S_he was in front of me with a big grin on her face. "You look amazing!"

Her face fell a little so I tried again. "You look magnificent!"

Now she was worrying her bottom lip a little bit. "Abigail you look more beautiful than words can describe. They wouldn't do you justice." At the end I cupped her face and kissed her softly on the lips. Then I stepped back and held my breath.

She giggled and cupped my face. "Jacob Black you are so cute! I was just teasing you. Although, I don't think it matters much what I wear. I'll still be the home wrecker no matter what dress I wear." She struggled at the end and I heard her swallow hard. I think I underestimated the difficulty she would be facing going to the wedding today.

I placed my hands over hers and looked her deep in the eyes. "No one thinks of you as a home wrecker. Not me. Not Bella. Nobody. Everyone who is going to be at the wedding knows and understands imprinting and no one blames you. If there is anybody to blame it is me. OK?"

What I was telling her was true. No one blamed her or me. Correction, one person blamed me. Charlie was furious when he found out about the anniversary dinner. Since Charlie knew nothing about the wolves, or the vampires for that matter, he pretty much told me I was a fucking liar and that 'imprinting' must be the new PC term for having an affair. He couldn't believe I was so in love with her after just a few weeks and to outsiders it would be hard to see.

Billy and Bella defended me to Charlie and that almost made things worse. I'm sure Charlie is only talking to Bella because she's his daughter and as far as I know he is still not talking to Billy.

As I worked through these thoughts, Abby placed herself in front of the mirror in the hallway and was doing her finishing touches on her makeup. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist as she secured her earrings. I started kissing her ear softly and whispered, "We don't have to go. We can stay here, veg out, and watch movies."

Abby twisted in my arms to face me. "Nice try Jake. We're going and you _are_ apologizing to Bella for last night."

She walked to the hall closet and grabbed our coats as I followed her. "Ok we will go but the devil himself will serve ice cream sundaes in hell before I apologize to Bella."

She turned and pointed her finger at me. "Jacob Black you _will _apologize to Bella and that is final! You left her! Who gives a rat's ass if she wants to go looking up an old boyfriend! I'm sorry, I love you, but your wrong and you will apologize or so help me I will postpone the wedding indefinitely!"

As my imprint, I told Abby about the Quileute tribe's mythology. I told her about the Cullens', about them being vampires and our treaty. Apparently, Bella running off to find the bloodsuckers didn't bother her and as a virgin saving herself for marriage, she was now leveraging sex to win this fight.

I raised my hands in surrender. "Fine, you win. I'll apologize."

I shrugged on my coat and we headed out the door. I'll apologize, but she didn't say _when_ I had to apologize or _what_ I had to apologize for and I had a plan.

**BPOV**

The ceremony had been beautiful. It was small and tasteful. Since the only Sunday worship Charlie had ever attended was at the lake with a fishing pole, they opted for just the Quileute tribe ceremony for Sue.

The reception was now underway and I had just a couple hours left before I would have to leave for Port Angeles so I could catch my flight. I mingled with everyone and hedged questions that had anything to do with Jake or my job. Just as I was about to go find Leah to go over the details of my alibi, Charlie spotted me.

"Hey Bells, how about a dance?"

"Come on dad. You know me and dancing don't mix." I giggled and wrapped him in a hug.

"Just one. Sue and Seth are going to dance one and I want to dance with my little girl."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I haven't been _little_ for quite some time." I then took the hand he was offering me and followed him to where Seth and Sue were dancing to Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

It was quiet for a moment and then he started with the one question I really didn't want to answer.

"So Bells, how are things going between you and Jake?"

"Fine dad." I returned with a question I knew he wouldn't like much either. "How are things going with you and Billy?"

He smirked and replied, "Ok Bells, point taken. How about work? Are you going to teach another year or finish your book?"

This conversation was going about as well as my dancing. I had already lost count of how many times I stepped on Charlie's feet. But this was an opportunity to lay the ground work for my long vacation as long as I didn't mess up and say the wrong thing.

"I'm thinking about taking some time off to work on my book, but I haven't decided yet. We can talk more about that later though. Did you tell Sue where you're going on the honeymoon yet?"

"About 20 minutes ago. I was worried she would think Hawaii was too cliché'. She is so excited that she wanted to leave now. Waiting till our 10:30 flight tonight is going to be hard for her. Not to mention the drive to Port Angeles will feel like eternity because she is so excited." He was laughing. I was not.

How I didn't think of this when I was booking my flight I will _never_ know? I was so focused on Edward I gave no thought to the fact that my dad was leaving on his honeymoon tonight; from the same airport, at the exact same time.

I. AM. FUCKED!

And I mean that, I was really, truly, fucked! While William R. Fairchild is an International Airport it isn't Chicago O'Hare. William R. Fairchild only flies to Seattle and there is only one airline. There was no way I could pull this off.

"Bells are you okay? You are sheet white."

I shook my head to clear it and put my game face on. "Ya. Sorry I just zoned out for a moment."

The song was coming to an end so I kissed him on the cheek as I hugged him. Expressing our feelings was not exactly something we were good at, but I had to say it anyway. "I love you dad, so much. I hope you and Sue are very happy."

"I love you too Bells. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go steal my wife for another dance." He smiled at the end and it lit up his whole face like a kid on Christmas morning.

I watched my dad as he danced with Sue and went back to figuring out how I was going to get on that plane and avoid my dad. Just as I thought I was going to go into a full out panic attack, Leah came up beside me.

"They are so cute together don't you think?" My dad had one hand around Sue's waist and the other held her hand up to his chest by his heart. He was pecking sweet, chaste kisses to her lips and they really did look cute together. It was hard to focus on them though as I was still trying to figure out the solution to my problem.

Suddenly Leah was waving a hand in front of my face. "Earth to Bella did you hear me? I said I saw Abby and she said Jake is looking for you."

"Sorry Leah, I have a problem."

She let out a little chuckle, "A problem besides the fact Jake is looking for you?"

I laughed a little. "Ya, I have bigger problems than Jake. I just realized my dad and I are going to be on the same flight to Seattle. When I booked my flight I forgot about him and Sue leaving for their honeymoon."

"Shit. What are you going to do?"

"I can't change my flight. It will cost too much. But I think I have an idea that might work?"

"What?"

"I…." I was cut off by Jacob coming up to us.

"Hey Bells. You gotta sec?" He was smiling just enough that I immediately wondered what he was up to.

I huffed out a breath. "Ya sure."

He started to walk away. Before I followed him, I turned back to Leah. "Come with me, please?"

Leah and I followed Jake back to the tented area where Sue and the bridesmaids had waited for the ceremony to begin. It was a little ways away from where everyone was so we would have privacy.

When I got there Billy and Sue were there and I immediately saw red and was absolutely furious. Jake just led me into an ambush!

Jake spoke first. "Now Bells, before you say anything just listen for a minute…"

This time I cut him off. "Don't you Bells me you asshole!" I had my hands out in front of me and I lunged for his throat.

Sue came between the two of us placing a hand on each of our chests. "Hold on you two…."

I stepped back a little and stamped my foot. "Jacob Black you are a bastard! Why? Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut for just a few more hours? NO! You had to not only run off and tell your dad, but Sue too!" My eyes narrowed and my voice took on a menacing tone. "She has only been married to my dad a couple hours and you expect her to what? Lie to him?" My eyes still narrowed, I now took a small step forward. "You, Jacob Black, are a son of a bitch and I am DONE being nice. GO. TO. HELL!"

Jake's eyes went so wide they almost bugged right out of his head. "YOU'RE done being nice! YOU'RE done being nice! That is a big load of shit! Do you call slapping me last night nice?! You're just pissed because I didn't keep secret the one thing everyone here would talk you out of!"

No one else was saying anything. Their eyes were just glancing between Jake and me.

"Who I tell and when I tell them should be my choice, but you are always taking those choices away from me!"

Jake threw his hands up in frustration. "That's because you always make the wrong decisions! Most people choose the safe things. Not you! If it's dangerous you're doing it!"

"You always think you know what is best for me! I just hope that Abby enjoys being bossed around this much seeing as how she is stuck with you!"

Just as I finished, Abby walked in the tent. "What is going on and what is all the yelling about?"

I turned to face Abby. "I'm doing something Jake doesn't agree with and he thinks an intervention is the answer!"

Abby narrowed her eyes and glared at Jake. "_This_ is how you apologize."

I was momentarily confused and looked between Abby and Jake. "Wait, apologize for what exactly?"

Abby softened her face and looked at me. "For being pigheaded and thinking he knows what's best for you. For essentially forbidding you from finding the Cullens' when you're old enough to weigh your options and make a decision yourself!" At the end Abby's face went hard again and she turned back toward Jacob.

Jake started to talk and I put my hand up silencing him. "Wait, back up again. What do you know about the Cullens'?"

Jake moved around to Abby and was back in my face. "Everything Bella. As my imprint I told her everything."

I rolled my eyes. "Great, just what the world needed, _another_ member of Team Jacob." I waved my hand around the room. "So what is this then? The full court press. Sorry I don't have time for this game Jacob, I have a plane to catch."

I started to walk out when Sue spoke up. "Wait Bella. Don't go. Think about Charlie."

"What about me?" Charlie walked in and gave Sue a sweet kiss on the cheek. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Emily says it's time for you to change out of your wedding dress and into some other dress you're supposed to leave in." Charlie paused and looked around the tent. "Did I interrupt something? Why is everyone so quiet? Bella you look…furious, what is going on?"

I looked around nervously. Do I tell him just enough to keep him satisfied everything is all right and leave out the mundane details? Do I tell him nothing? Do I tell him everything? You know, like saying 'Hey dad. You remember Edward? Well he is a vampire. In fact all the Cullens' are. I am still in love with Edward and I'm going to go find him. Oh by the way, I'll see ya at the airport because we are flying to Seattle together.'

I was about to say something, when Sue turned to Charlie and asked him to give her a few minutes and she would be right there. Charlie started to say something that I couldn't quite hear and Sue said she would explain later. With that, Charlie gave her a peck on the lips and walked out. Sue then walked over to me and was shaking a finger.

"This is a bad idea on so many levels Bella and you know it. You're going to end up hurt. Charlie is going to end up hurt. Nothing with the Cullens' ever ends well. What they already did to you should be enough proof. Why are you doing this when only pain will come from it?"

"Because every once in a while you gamble on love and it pays off. I don't think any of you grasp just how deeply I love Edward. I have to do this and nothing any of you say will change it."

"Bella…" Billy had not said anything so when he spoke it startled me. I jumped a little and turned to face him. "I think I could say something."

Something about his tone of voice sent chills down my spine. "What?"

"If you go after the Cullens, we will view it as a betrayal and as you joining them change or no change therefore having to abide by the terms of the treaty….you will _not_ be allowed back onto Quileute land including La Push."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You can't do that…my dad…"

Billy interrupted. "I've already discussed this with the elders and Sam. The change to the treaty has been accepted. Whether you change or not, any association with the Cullens' will be considered as being a part of their clan. If you choose this path, you don't come back."

"I want to hear this from Sam himself."

"Fine; Jacob, go find Sam."

Jake walked out and I fell to the ground holding my head in my hands. Leah came over and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Bella, it will be OK. Charlie and Sue will come to you if you can't come here. You know Charlie will."

"But how do I explain to him I have been banished from La Push? I don't know what to do Leah."

"It will all work out."

Just then, Jake walked in with Sam and I jumped back up. After Sam, Quil and Paul followed. This is just getting better and better. I now truly felt the pressure as I was surrounded by Billy, Sue, Jake, Sam, Quil, and Paul. Leah was still at my side supporting me as much as she could. I didn't want a third party association causing her banishment as well and I wasn't going to let it come to that. Abby was still here as well, but I was unsure which side of the fence she was on. She seemed angry at Jake for this 'apology,' but I didn't see her joining Leah and I either.

Sam came to stand in front of me and cleared his throat. "Bella, Billy spoke the truth. We met the other day and it was decided. Any association with the Cullens' will result in you not being allowed back."

I closed be eyes and took a deep breath. "I can't believe you all are making me choose between my dad and Edward." I opened my eyes and looked directly at Jacob. "This is just like you to make me choose between Edward and my dad."

That's when everything clicked into place.

I stalked over towards Jake. "YOU! YOU! They just made this decision the other day, but you have known for a week! You went to Sam! You did this!" I was once again lunging at his throat, both hands poised to strangle him.

Just inches from his throat, Jake grabbed me by the wrists, flanked by Quil and Paul. "I didn't do this Bella! You did! You are always choosing them over us when all they cause you is pain! I did this to show you how out of whack your priorities are! I am willing to do _anything_ to keep you safe and away from the Cullens'."

I twisted my arms to free my wrists. All was silent in the tent except for mine and Jake's heavy breathing from our yelling. Our eyes were locked on each other, neither one willing to surrender.

I spoke in a solemn tone. "Anything Jake. Really. What if I asked you to leave Abby and come back to me? What if I told you that was the only way? Would you leave your imprint, your soul mate, to keep me from the Cullens'?"

Jake looked both hurt and angry, however Paul was the one who spoke up. "Don't Bella! Don't even go there! You know imprinting and leaving you was beyond his control! Asking him to do that to keep you here is unfair and you know it!" Only at the end did I notice the slight tremors of his body.

Quil stepped forward and grabbed Paul's arm. "Take a breath Paul. If you were to phase right now that would be a huge fucking mistake. We would have a really hard time hiding you from Charlie and his friends. Calm. Down."

While Paul had gotten better at controlling his temper, he was still hot-headed enough that slip-ups still occurred once in a while. Paul yanked his arm from Quil's grasp and stepped back towards the exit. He had his head hung to his chest and was taking deep breaths with his hands clenched into fists. He was clearly concentrating on staying together.

Jake had walked over to stand by Abby and wrapped an arm around her waist. Abby looked very despondent, but I wasn't sorry. I had said what I needed to say for them to take me seriously.

When Jake answered my question it was through clenched teeth. "I AM NOT LEAVING ABBY. "

"Then you lied. You're not willing to do anything and if this is the way all of you show your love for me, if things have come to ultimatums and amended treaties, then my choice is easy. I choose the Cullens'. "

I looked around and it seemed no one had anything else to say now that I had made my decision crystal clear. "Unless anyone objects, I am going to have Leah drive me to the airport. I don't want anyone banishing Leah for being associated with me."

No one said anything so I took that as a yes. "Come on Leah. Let's go."

We left the tent and I quickly said my goodbyes to Charlie on the way to the car. As we left I looked in the side mirror and saw Paul, Quil, Sam, and Jake with their arms crossed watching us drive away.

I was still looking out the window as Leah drove; I was too upset to drive, when I told her I needed to make a quick stop before we got to the airport.

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After I arrived at the airport and checked in, I had immediately gone into the bathroom with my carry-on and changed. I was not sure how much time I had before Charlie and Sue would be here so I had to work quickly. The wig I had already bought to use as a decoy while looking for the Cullens'. I had thought that would be enough to fool them, but I definitely needed more than a wig to fool my dad. We stopped at a department store that was still open where I was able to buy the rest of what I needed.

I came out of the bathroom and walked with a little bit of confidence, trying to sell a look I wasn't entirely comfortable in.

I was wearing a red sleeveless shirt with a picture of the UK flag that showed a little of my midriff. The red shirt was almost a perfect match to my red wig and my plaid miniskirt that hung low on my hips. The wig was actually more of a color that was a cross between red and hot pink and I had a black belt paired with my skirt to help avoid any wardrobe malfunctions. I was wearing more makeup than I normally did. I had the smoky eye look with black eyeliner, a rosy colored blush, and a light colored lip gloss that looked pretty natural. I was also wearing more jewelry than I had ever worn in my entire life. I was wearing two necklaces; one was a champagne colored faux pearl the other was a silver chain necklace. It had a circle pendant that was red with a white plus sign on it. Then there were the bracelets. On my right wrist I had about a dozen blue jelly bracelets and a silver cuff bracelet. On my left wrist I had a leather bracelet with a big silver loop on it. To complete my retro punk rocker alias, I was wearing black fishnet stockings with knee high leather boots. Now I was sitting in a chair at the gate saying a silent prayer that this would work.

That's when I heard them.

I heard Charlie first. He was complaining that because the flight to Seattle was delayed he was worried they would miss their connection to Hawaii. Sue was trying to calm him down telling him that if they missed the connection it wouldn't be the end of the world. They checked in at the gate and then sat in the chairs a row behind me and just off my right.

And. I. Couldn't. Breathe.

It sounded like Sue was digging in her purse and then Charlie cleared his throat.

"I can't believe anyone _really_ dresses like that. And that hair. That is the most insane hair color." He was whispering and anyone else probably wouldn't have noticed his comment. It wouldn't have mattered how quiet he was, I would have heard him no matter what given how hyperaware I was of him and Sue.

I cautiously peaked over my shoulder at Sue as Charlie continued with his comments. "I hope she isn't going to be a problem on the plane. Only trouble makers dress like that."

Sue looked up to see the 'she' Charlie was ranting about and locked eyes with me. She was momentarily confused, but then she figured me out.

Sue pecked Charlie on the cheek and slipped some money into his hand she had retrieved from her purse. "Hey honey, in case we are pressed for time to make our flight in Seattle, would you mind going over there and buying me a couple of magazines?"

Charlie walked away and when he was out of sight, Sue came over to me. "Nice Bella. I hope that washes out."

There was a chill to her voice so she was clearly still upset with me.

I looked her right in the eye so she would realize I was still just as serious now as I had been back at the wedding.

"Be serious Sue. It is a wig." I saw disappointment on her face so I crossed my arms and focused on a plane taxing to the gate out the window in front of me.

Sue reached across and grabbed my hand, effectively uncrossing my arms, and spoke to me in a gentle motherly tone. "Bella, we don't have much time. I'm sure Charlie is going to be back any moment and say he didn't see People and hand me Field and Stream, so please I beg of you don't do this. I know Jake hurt you tremendously, but that's no reason to…"

"You still think this is about Jake!" I was whisper-yelling trying not to draw attention. "This has nothing to do with Jake! Jake making promises that we both knew he couldn't keep, that hurt. Jake imprinting that hurt. Jake going to the elders and having me banished that was unforgiveable, but this has nothing to do with Jake! I'm doing this for me and for Edward."

Sue was still holding my hand and was now gently patting it. "Bella if or when you find the Cullens' one of two things will happen. Either they will turn you away again and you will come back broken or they will accept you and change you. How do you plan to explain either of those to Charlie?"

The time we had left was slipping by quickly so I turned my gaze to Sue and was as firm as I could be to end this. "I will cross that bridge when I come to it and stop trying to dissuade me. I am going and that is the end of this discussion."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and didn't want her to see an opportunity to prey on my weakness, my dad, so I turned my face away again.

"No Bella, it's not. This will kill him Bella. Losing you, no matter which way this goes, it will destroy him. Before your dad and I got together, you were all he had. Don't you care at all what this is going to do to him?"

I swallowed the lump creeping up my throat and took a deep breath. "You seem to think I am going to get on that plane and sever all ties with him. I'm not. I may not be home for holidays and stuff, but I'll call and email." I realized she was still holding my hand so I gently squeezed it. "Your right you know. I was all he had. Now, I know I can go find Edward because my dad has you."

Sue let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around me. The hug was nice, comforting. At the same time it hurt. My choice meant this would be the last time I would be with her like this. The last glimpses I would have of her and my dad. I almost let the tears fall over, but remembered I was wearing lots of eye makeup so I swallowed hard to fight the tears.

Sue pulled back and held my shoulders gently. "I see your dad coming and it will kill my honeymoon if he figures out you're the one dressed like this. Just promise me one thing? Call next week when we get back and let us know your ok. Please?"

If I said anything I knew I would start crying so I just nodded. Sue went back to her seat just as Charlie came back. I didn't think he saw our exchange and I didn't see what he had brought back, but wasn't sure because I didn't want to look over my shoulder again and risk making eye contact with him. If he figured out what was going on, banishment from La Push would be the least of my problems.

I made sure Charlie and Sue boarded first and then managed to get a seat away from them. The good news was I was seated behind them. The bad news was I was by the bathroom so I just hoped Charlie had a big bladder or drank next to nothing. We only had to fly for about an hour though so maybe I would get lucky.

The worst part was that I was so emotionally drained from the past two days and today's blowout at the wedding that all I wanted to do was sleep. That was a risk I couldn't afford though. For the past week every single time I slept, except once, I had one of my Edward dreams. The person seated next to me was already giving my weird looks given how I was dressed. An erotic dream would not help matters. Not to mention Charlie figuring things out when he heard me moaning Edwards name. So I drank coke nonstop and stayed awake.

I was relieved when we landed in Seattle. Charlie and Sue departed the plane first. They were getting special treatment after the flight attendant found out they were on their honeymoon. I noticed Sue holding Charlie close and almost guiding him. Given our conversation at the airport, I was sure she was trying to avoid Charlie seeing me as much as I was.

Once they were out of sight I quickly made my way off the plane and to my next flight. The plane was nearly empty for my flight to New Hampshire, so I went to the bathroom before take off with my carry on and changed out of my disguise. The few people that were there did give me some funny looks, but I was too tired to care. I sat back in my seat and put on my ipod. I hoped it would allow me to sleep dream free and without disturbing anyone.

As the plane lifted off I was consumed with fear, hope and sadness. The strongest was the sadness though. I knew no matter what happened in New Hampshire I could never come back. My choice had been made and I had to see it through. I had to leave La Push and my old life behind. That was when the tears fell and I succumbed to the sadness. I hated that I had to leave my dad for any chance with Edward. I hated Jake even more for putting me in that position. Now I just hoped that I had made the right choice and Edward would want me. Want us.

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NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED. ALIAS belongs to ABC. Field and Stream and People belong to their respective publishers. Did I say all that right...oh well if I didn't the most important thing is no copyright infringement is intended :)

A/N: Did you enjoy the wedding blowout? How much do y'all hate Jake right now? The disguise at the airport is a nod to one of my favorite shows ALIAS. I know I have not been responding to reviews and I am sorry. Lack of time and trying to write faster for y'all are to blame, but I read each one and enjoy hearing what your opinions are so keep them coming please.

Chapter 6 is titled Welcome to New Hampshire and is the start of the search and when y'all will meet Tristian. Any guesses who Tristian may be? Review and give me your best guesses.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks so much for your continued support of my little fic!!! I still can't believe how much y'all love this and keep coming back for more! Thanks so much for the reviews and remember I do read them all even if I just couldn't keep up with responding and having time to write.

Thanks for this chapter go out to JRsgirl and her wonderful hubby who also happens to be my sometimes wonderful brother. You guys rock and help with this so much. Also thanks to my friend Steph who, along with JRsgirl and my brother, helped create Tristan. Qjmom, you are the best beta I could ever ask for! Thanks for sticking with me and bringing a smile to my face with your status updates on gmail :)

Loved the guesses about Tristan! Every guess I can think of off the top of my head thought Tristan was a girl except one that guessed a vampire paired with Edward. Well let's see how close y'all were..........

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Authors Disclaimer: This chapter contains a lemon. Bella has another dream and I did get some harsh reviews over chapter 3, thus this disclaimer even though this fic is rated NC-17. You may skip over if you wish and still follow the story line, but I encourage you to read because her dreams change as her circumstances change and this will come into play when we finally get to the Edward/Bella reunion. If you wish to skip, after the beginning you will skip from the line 'cool breath' to where they say 'I love you'_

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**CHAPTER 6: Welcome to New Hampshire**

"Good afternoon everyone this is your captain speaking. We have just arrived in Lebanon where the local time is 1:25 pm and it is a cool 75 degrees. We should be pulling up to the gate in about 15 minutes. If this is just a layover for you, I hope you have a safe journey as you complete your trip. If this is your destination, welcome to New Hampshire."

After an almost 11 hour flight, I was stiff and still very tired. I was unable to get a really restful sleep because I couldn't get comfortable. So I was stiff and exhausted and didn't think that would make for a happy reunion with Edward. I needed a long nap and a shower before I would be ready to fight that battle.

After getting off the plane and getting my bag I had checked, I went out to the front of the airport and got in a taxi. When the driver asked where to I replied that I was going to Hanover and any hotel would do. I really didn't care as long as I got my nap and shower.

It only took about 15 minutes and the driver was pulling up in front of a hotel and helping me to the front desk with my bags. After paying the driver and checking into my room, I collapsed on the bed from absolute exhaustion………..

Cool breath.

Cool breath and steel arms.

I could feel them. The breath on my ear was teasing me awake. The arms around my waist were holding me tight.

"Bella, my love." He was whispering and gently biting my ear lobe.

"Mmmhmm…" I snuggled closer into his chest and when I moved my hips, I could feel his erection pressing into the small of my back.

At least I knew he was happy to see me.

He started working slow lazy circles around my belly button. It was then that I realized I was naked.

His ministrations were sending tingles throughout my body. It was a ripple effect starting in my belly and working outwards towards my breasts, my hands, and my sex. It was an overwhelming sensation that caused my body to move of its own volition.

I hitched my leg back over his hip, sure he would get the idea and he did. His lazy circles started working their way lower and lower till they were finally where I wanted them. I brought my hands above my head and laced my fingers behind his neck, pulling his neck just slightly while tilting my head to meet his lips for a deep heated kiss.

As my tongue worked its way between his lips, his fingers worked their way between my lower lips. I was soaking him in with every sense. I tasted the venom pooling in his mouth from his arousal. I was breathing in his scent deep into my lungs. I let my fingers tease the hairs at the nape of his neck, reveling in their softness compared to his granite skin. Then he moaned into my mouth as our kissing increased in intensity. I looked had his face to see the sheer ecstasy that was there.

My eyes fluttered closed again, I was moaning into his mouth as he slipped one, and then a second finger in. He pressed his thumb on my swollen bundle of nerves begging for his attention.

He started placing open mouthed kisses over my neck and shoulder and I moved my hands from his neck. I grazed one hand down his body, stopping on his hip briefly before working my way to his erection and stroking ever so slowly.

"Oh god Bella…" He had broken the kiss and was resting his head on my shoulder.

"Mmmm…You like that baby…" I ran my thumb over the tip and started spreading the pre cum all over his cock.

"You have no idea…feels…so good." His breaths were coming faster and he was arching into me.

We were working each other into a frenzy but I wanted more. With Edward I could never get enough. I always wanted more.

I was arching into his hand trying to get more friction when he brought his lips back to my ear.

"Bella, roll on your back for me love."

Not one to disappoint, I did as he asked even though it meant we had to stop what we were doing.

As I rolled on my back, Edward reached into the nightstand and retrieved a condom.

I was so into the moment that I didn't realize I had picked up where Edward had left off until I heard him groan. "Don't you dare come yet. I'm just getting started with you." My eyes fluttered open in time to see that cocky smirk on his face.

He gripped my hips and pulled my center flush with his erection.

He captured my lips in a kiss just as he entered me. He was thrusting in and out and making this insanely erotic noise as he kissed me. Was he purring? Growling? I couldn't be sure because I was lost in the sensations overtaking my body.

His kisses had migrated to my jaw and he was making his way to my ear. "Oh god Bella….so amazing….so worth the wait."

I tried to respond but all I could do was moan and threaded my fingers through his hair bringing his lips to mine.

With each thrust of his hips, I was circling mine trying to get more friction. Edward balanced his weight on one arm and with the other hand started rubbing my clit. Bringing his mouth to one of my breasts, he started kissing and nipping at the nub working it into a taunt peak. He then licked around it and pulled back blowing gently, the sensation causing my body to shiver and a moan to escape my lips.

He brought his mouth back to my breast, kissing and licking me into insanity. I was close now and gripped his hair tighter. I thought I was too rough when Edward hissed, but the hiss was followed by a throaty moan so I figured I had found the balance between pleasure and pain.

"Uggghhhh….Eeedwwward….oh, so close….don't stop….faster, harder!"

He did exactly as I requested and was thrusting deeper than I thought was possible and stroked my clit faster.

I came undone at the seams and was screaming his name. He slowed his ministrations, letting me come down from my release.

My release. I realized Edward had not come yet.

As I realized this, Edward kissed me and grabbed the pillow next to me. He then kneeled in between my thighs and told me to lift my hips. He placed the pillow beneath me and then wrapped my left leg around his back. He lifted my right leg over his shoulder as he entered me again.

"Oh my god! Edward!" This position allowed him to be even deeper and it was so intense I knew I wouldn't last long, especially since I was still high from my last orgasm.

"God Bella, you are so tight this way….so warm….you feel so good." His tone was husky and thick with lust. Everything from his voice to the feel of him filling me so completely was utterly amazing. I could stay here forever.

Moving together in perfect synchronicity, the only noises to be heard was breathy curses and moaning. We gazed into each other's eyes and found our releases together this time. It was sweet and beautiful and everything I always thought being with him would be like every time I imagined it, every day for the last 6 years.

He lay on his side and cuddled me into his chest, but my overheated body was starting to cool next to his and I shivered. Edward made a move to put a blanket between us and I stilled him.

"No. I want to stay like this."

Edward sighed into my neck and kissed me softly. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too. I then drifted to sleep and back to reality…………….

I sat up with a jolt and looked around. The room was dark so I knew it was night now. I wondered how long I had been asleep so I looked at the alarm clock. 9:45. Fuck! There went my whole day.

I scrubbed my face with my hands and concentrated on getting my breaths under control. The dreams were starting to get to me more and more each time I had one.

I got up and headed to the bathroom. I was mentally kicking my ass for wasting the whole afternoon sleeping when something occurred to me. School may not be open this late, but the hospital would be.

Going back to the bed, I got out my laptop to pull up my research information. Everything I had found on the internet was in a folder I had named 'Operation Cullen' and the subfolders were organized by each city. I opened the one for Hanover and found the phone number for Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center. The lady that answered the phone transferred me to the emergency room where I was told Carlisle would be working at midnight.

With two hours to go I decided to take a hot bath instead of the shower I had originally planned. I opened up my suitcase and got a change of clothes then went to draw a bath. Just as I was about to undress and get in the tub, my cell phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hey Bella. It's Leah. You didn't call me when you got there. How's it going?"

She sounded weird, almost like she had been crying. I immediately worried what her support had cost her.

"Everything is fine. Sorry I forgot to call; I fell asleep after I checked in. I was about to take a bath and then head over to the hospital. Are you OK?"

She sniffed and then cleared her throat. "Things were not exactly coming up roses when I got back to La Push, but I think it will be fine."

I plopped back on the bed as the guilt washed over me. "Oh man Leah I am so sorry. What happened?"

"Everyone is completely pissed at me. They are saying that I am betraying the tribe by offering you my support. All the guys are not talking to me and my mom said and I quote 'we will talk about this when I get back.'

"Shit Leah. I don't know if we should keep talking. I mean, they banished me so who knows what they are capable of."

"Well I was thinking about that actually. I don't think they could really amend the terms of the treaty the way they did."

"Really?" This had peaked my interest. Wouldn't it be great if I could have Edward and my dad both and there was not a damn thing Jake could do about it?

"Ya, I mean think about it. The original treaty was formed by both the Cullen's and Jake's Great-Grandfather. It would stand to reason that in order for a change to stand both sides would have to agree."

I hadn't really given any of this much thought when in the heat of the argument, so this had my hopes up that maybe I _could_ have both. I could be with Edward and still see my father in La Push.

"Well let's take this one step at a time. First I have to find Edward, and then I'll worry about the treaty."

"Sounds good Bells. I just thought that this might work in your favor. I mean the Cullen's definitely won't back up the change, right?"

"Right. Thanks for everything Leah. I'll talk to you soon."

After talking to Leah, taking my bath and ordering some room service I felt a lot better. I called down to the front desk and asked them to call me a cab since I hadn't bothered to pay attention to what cab service I had used. If I was going to be in New Hampshire for an extended period of time I should look into a car rental.

On the way to the hospital my stomach started doing flips. Maybe eating wasn't such a good idea after all. I was so nervous I thought I might throw up. I reached into my purse and looked at the picture of Edward and me from my 18th birthday. Reminding me of my goal helped, but then I would get that nagging fear. The words he said that day in the woods would sneak in and echo through my brain.

"_I don't want you anymore."_

Well Edward Cullen wasn't the only one calling the shots now.

It was time for me to have a say in the decisions that affected my life.

We pulled up in front of the hospital and I paid the cab driver, but I couldn't move. I was frozen with fear of rejection. Sue was right. If I do this, and they still turn me away, it will destroy me.

"Are you OK, Ms.?"

The cab driver was looking at me in the rear view mirror with a look of worry.

I swallowed my fear and told him I was fine then proceeded out of the cab and into the doors of the ER.

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I was lying in bed still depressed about last night when my wakeup call came in. I sat up and rubbed my temples trying to work out my headache. I didn't know if going to the college today was still worth it after the failure that was last night.

I had brought the wig with me and decided against using it. I also gave the lady at the admissions desk my real name. I was hoping Carlisle would be at least mature enough to come out and confront me and not sneak away at the thought of me being here to see him. Maybe he would actually be pleased to see me?

I started to second guess myself after sitting in the waiting room for over an hour. Finally, a little Asian guy that was about 50 came out and asked if I was Bella Swan. After I said yes he introduced himself as Dr. Cullen and asked if he could help me. I told him he wasn't the Dr. Cullen I was looking for then mentioned that Cullen wasn't an Asian name so it seemed odd he would have that surname. He was very friendly considering my demeanor and the fact I was asking a rather personal question. He said that he was adopted and that Carlisle was a family name. For the sake of saving time, I also asked if he had a son by the name of Edward and he said no. So I was still holding out a little hope for the college today.

I got dressed and went downstairs for the hotels continental breakfast. On my way back to the room to retrieve my purse, I asked the front desk if they could call for another cab.

I was surprised that this cab ride wasn't bringing the same waves of nervousness as last night, or I guess it would have been this morning? I guessed it had something to do with the fact that I was still dealing with the disappointment at the hospital and trying not to build up my hopes again.

As we approached the college I told the cab driver I needed the administration building. He pulled around and after I paid, I got out with no hesitation this time. I would need the confidence in order to be convincing with the registrar.

I walked into the registrar's office and told the lady at the desk I was here to surprise my brother but didn't know what class he was in or where I could find him. She was hesitant to give me any information, but when I told her how far I had come and how much surprising him meant to me she finally relented.

I walked across the campus to where I was told he would be and sat outside the building. The students would be coming out in just a few minutes, so I used the time to try and calm my nerves and think about what I was going to say to Edward when I saw him. Just then my phone rang.

The caller id showed it was Jake.

While it boggled my mind he was even calling me, I didn't care why he was calling. I couldn't deal with him or his control issues right now. I let it go to voice mail even though that would surely piss him off even more.

I looked back up just in time to see the doors to the building open and students filing out. I started to walk towards them when in the middle of the crowd I saw a mess of copper hair.

My heart stopped and my breath hitched. This was it. This was him and in just a minute I would be face to face with him. I couldn't believe this was really happening.

Especially since it didn't. The crowd broke up at the same time my heart did. The mess of copper hair did not belong to Edward. I frantically looked through the students and did not see him so I tapped a girl on the shoulder and asked if she could point out Edward Cullen for me. She pointed to a guy about 20 feet ahead and said he was the one in the navy blue button down and dark blue jeans.

It wasn't him.

I sat on a bench for a while and then I wandered the campus for a while longer just lost in my thoughts and trying to figure out what to do. Next on my list was Rochester, New York and while going through this again seemed too hard, I couldn't give up. Not yet.

My aimless wandering had somehow led me to a 24 hour coffee shop across from the campus. I went in and it was packed with students. I took a seat at the counter and ordered a cup of coffee. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to call Leah and saw I had 6 missed calls from Jake and 6 new voice messages. Huh. Guess I didn't notice my phone was ringing while I had been walking around. The messages I might listen to later, but calling him back was out of the question.

Leah didn't answer and I really wished I had brought my laptop with me so I could refresh my memory of the Rochester research, but maybe having a little bit of time to not dwell on 'Operation Cullen' wasn't such a bad thing. It would allow me to clear my mind a little so instead I reached next to me and grabbed a newspaper that had been left on the counter.

After a few minutes of reading up on recent events, I sensed someone had sat next to me. I placed the paper aside and took a sip of coffee. As I went to pick the paper back up, my eyes met the gaze of the person who had sat next to me.

At almost the exact same moment, I heard a voice I hadn't heard in years. Not since the day almost 3 years ago I crashed my motorcycle while Jake and I were traveling up the coast on vacation. I heard Edward a lot that day, but the last time was about 30 seconds before I crashed and broke my leg in 2 spots.

"Leave Bella. Leave now!" The velvet smooth voice harshly stated.

Hearing Edward meant one thing. I was, somehow, in danger.

I took a closer look at the eyes gazing at me. It appeared he was wearing contacts because I could just barely make out the red rims of the irises. The more obvious things I noticed was the pale complexion and the brilliant hair color. His was a lustrous raven with flecks of a deep midnight blue. It was not a color I was used to seeing on anyone, but it was gorgeous and I instantly wanted to run my fingers through it. He also smelled amazing. It was like a sandalwood scent mixed with leather and musk. Everything about him drew me in and I instantly knew.

He was a vampire.

Edward was growling furiously at me. "Bella! GO!"

My company leaned into me just a little and smiled. I attempted a smile in return not sure what to think or say or do. Even attempting to form thoughts was difficult. It was like I didn't even have control over my brain.

"Bella!" Hearing Edward was so surreal in this moment after spending the day thinking he would be the vampire I would be with instead of the one across from me now.

He was now inches from my face with his lips parted slightly. I drew in a breath and the intoxicating scent was almost too much for my senses.

Not knowing what to say I lamely just said hi.

"Hi." He responded in return and the sound was just as alluring and smooth as Edward's. "I'm Tristan. Want to get outta here with me?"

It was completely stupid sure, but it was like I was in a trance. I got up and followed him out of the coffee shop with Edward growling in my ear the entire way.

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A/N: I know this chapter took a while but I got a little distracted when I got some ideas for chapters 7 and 8, so the good news is chapter 7 is about half done and maybe I will be able to get that one out in about a week. We get to meet another new character in chapter 7. If you wanna play my guessing game again review and tell me who you think Shelbie might be.......

Don't want to play? That's cool but could you still review? Right now I have 33 reviews and I would love to get this baby over 50 or dare I say 70? Reviews make my heart smile :) and earn you a chapter 7 teaser!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm going to start by asking for forgiveness :) I know because I submitted a teaser to the fictionators, this chapter should have been posted already and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I held on to this chapter so long, but it was a difficult chapter to write. I also knew I was going to get flamed big time. I tried as best as I could to catch the things Alice would see and explain the things I didn't let her see. I hope it works. It was a lesson though, a lesson that I am never writing APOV again! :)

Thanks to my awesome and patient beta qjmom. Your so great to me bb! I appreciate your help with everything more than you know!

AUTHORS DISCLAIMER - PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER: This chapter describes a rape scene briefly. It doesn't go into detail, but the idea of the rape and attack are there. I can't explain where it is without giving away the chapter to everyone, so if you don't want to read it PM me.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER 7: Shattered

APOV

Everything had fallen apart and I didn't know how to put the pieces back together. It was like a shattered plate with shards scattered everywhere. You can find most of the pieces and almost put it back together, but there are little tiny scattered fragments that you never find and the plate is never the same.

That's how I would describe my family. We almost look the same, but little pieces of us are missing. Gone to never be found again. Forks. Bella. Smiles. Happiness….

The first six months were the hardest. Everyone fought constantly and some of us were depressed. Some of us threatened to go back to Forks. One of us threatened to go back and change Bella and bring her back to the family. In the end we stayed as that plate that was shattered and pieced back together.

During one of our most heated arguments, Emmett said he was going to go back and Jasper said he was going too. Emmett missed his little sister something fierce and Jasper just wanted to bring peace back to the family. There was only so much he was capable of controlling with his power and after a while it was exhausting. Of course Carlisle tried to talk them out of it and Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were all screaming at each other.

The next morning, Edward left and didn't bother telling anyone where he was going. He also didn't say when or even if he would be back. Emmett and Rosalie packed up and left as well saying they needed to take a breather from things. They were going to go on what seemed like their 50th honeymoon. At least they said they would be back in a couple months.

Jasper and I stayed. We couldn't leave Carlisle and Esme. Esme was hanging on by a thread and I hoped Jasper could help her. I looked for Edward in my visions, but he was doing something very effective at keeping me out. I didn't know what it was, but planned to kick his ass for it if he ever came back. I also looked at Emmett and Rosalie. After a couple of weeks, their fights calmed and turned into something else. Ewww. I didn't need to look anymore after that. After all I knew they were coming back.

When we first left Forks, Edward came to me and asked me to do him a favor. I agreed and after he asked I immediately wished I hadn't.

"_Don't look at Bella anymore. Block her out or whatever, but leave her be. I want this to be a clean break for all of us."_

"_Edward, that's not fair! Don't you want to know that she is safe and happy!? Don't you want to make sure she is OK!?'_

"_She will be. As long as we stay away and let her live her life."_

We never talked about it again, however I still saw her no matter how hard I tried. I figured it was because I was so attuned to her. I saw her pain and agony over losing Edward. I saw her cry herself to sleep. I only told Jasper and we decided it was better for no one else to know. Gradually the visions got fuzzier and fuzzier and then one day they stopped.

First Rosalie and Emmett came back and then about three months later Edward. We packed up to move again so we could start high school again and start fresh.

It had been about a year since we had left Bella and no one talked about it anymore. It was easier that way. We started another new high school. Carlisle started at a new hospital. Everything felt as normal as it had been before Bella entered our lives.

Then one weekend a couple of months after we moved everything changed. Jasper and I were sitting on the couch reading while Esme and Rosalie were upstairs working on the remodel of Esme and Carlisle's bedroom. Emmett, Edward, and Carlisle had been on a hunt. All the sudden, the peaceful afternoon was shattered. I dropped the book I was reading to the floor and collapsed with a major headache as a vision overtook me. It wasn't entirely clear, I just saw that the hunting trip had not gone as planned and then a vision of Emmett with a bloody body running to the house. Shortly after I recovered, Emmett came bursting through the doors with that bloody and battered girl in his arms and started taking the stairs two at a time up to Carlisle's study with Edward and Carlisle right on his heels.

Jasper and I immediately jumped up and followed.

"What's going on?" I came into the study just as Emmett was laying the body down on the couch. I didn't like being in the dark so to speak, and everything was happening so fast my visions were coming in blurry…when they came.

"Bite her Edward! Do it now before it's too late!" Emmett barked out the order as he was brushing the matted bloody hair off her face.

"Carlisle get you bag while I get her clothes off! Emmett, get out of the way!" Edward was visibly on edge and was filling a syringe with what looked like morphine but I couldn't tell from my angle.

By now Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper had joined us. Esme walked over to Carlisle as Jasper started trying to calm the room.

I stood over the girl and Edward as Jasper came to my side asked him what was going on.

"It's Bella and she's hurt bad! Tell Edward we are wasting time and to just bite her already!" Emmett moved around the couch and stood on the other side of me. "I swear Edward you have about 10 seconds left and then I am biting her!"

Carlisle and Edward were stripping her of what was left of her clothes and placing pressure on so many stab wounds I lost count after 20.

"Carlisle…" Edward's voice was shaky and as he looked at Carlisle it was apparent they were having a silent conversation.

Edward's shoulders slumped and he started shaking his head. "No. I can't do it. I don't want to lose her again, but I can't do it."

"It's not Bella." Everyone looked at me and the silence was deafening.

"What do you mean it's not Bella? Ya, she's _really_ beat up and bloody, but look at her it's Bella!" I wasn't sure if Emmett was trying to convince me or convince himself.

"No. She's not. First I never got of vision…" Jasper nudged me, knowing I was lying. "OK…well that's not entirely true; I did, but couldn't make sense of who the body was. Second, I would know my best friend and she smells all wrong." I wrinkled my nose at the end. She really didn't smell right.

"You haven't been looking for Bella so of course you didn't see this! And the smell is wrong because the morphine is messing with the smell of her blood! It's Bella! Right Edward?" The more Emmett talked this out the more I was sure he had at least a few doubts.

The pain on Edwards face was so apparent that I could feel it even without the benefit of Jasper's ability. "She's so bruised and bloody…I just don't know…I can't _hear_ her thoughts…but the smell from before the morphine…that was my Bella."

Carlisle spoke while still trying to control the bleeding. "Not hearing her thoughts is probably due to her being unconscious Edward." Carlisle then tuned to look at me. "And Edward is right; the morphine would change the smell of the blood slightly."

Esme kneeled down and put one of her hands over Edward's where he was trying to stop the bleeding. "Carlisle, what do we do?"

Carlisle looked around the room briefly making eye contact with all of us. "There are too many stab wounds. Even if we took her to the hospital I don't think she will make it. If one of us doesn't bite her she will die."

Everybody looked at Edward. Edward closed his eyes and was silent for a moment. Then he opened his eyes, tilted her head to the side, and whispered in her ear how he never stopped loving her. Then, he bit her.

Those were the longest three days ever. We moved her to Edward's room and started preparing ourselves for having a newborn in the house. Carlisle would come in before he went to the hospital and then again after. Edward never left her side except when Rosalie and I came on the second day after her wounds had healed to bathe her and redress her. When he came back I confronted Edward again about my doubts that it was really Bella. The differences were subtle, but they were there. He told me that the process did cause little things to change and then kicked Rosalie and I out.

When Edward knew it was close to time for her the wake up he called us into his room so we could all be together. The waiting seemed like forever until she finally opened her eyes.

What happened next was so fast, in only filled about 10 seconds.

I saw what was coming so I yelled at Jasper and Emmett to grab her. She woke up and Edward immediately stiffened, hearing her thoughts; his first indication that she may not be Bella. She went to attack Edward who was standing the closest, however Jasper and Emmett hearing my warning in time got to her before she got to Edward. She twisted free on one side sending Jasper flying _through_ Edward's bedroom wall and landing downstairs in front of the living room sofa cracking the floorboards. Emmett held tight while Jasper was airborne, grabbing both her arms and pinning them behind her back. She tried to break free, but it was a fruitless effort giving Emmett's strength. I was impressed that he was holding up against a newborn. She was snarling and hissing at everyone. Then Jasper came back in the room and calmed everyone down.

Once everyone was relatively calm, Edward addressed her as Bella and that's when everyone else figured out what I already knew. She wasn't Bella.

She was snarling and hissing still as she looked around the room. "Bella? Who's Bella?"

Edward, still clinging to what little hope he had left, starting approaching again with his hands up showing her he didn't mean any harm and addressed her again. "You are. It's OK. We're not going to hurt you. Don't you remember us Bella?" I already knew she wasn't Bella, tried to prepare him the best I could, and his hope was about to be crushed once she revealed her name.

She started writhing in Emmett's arms trying to break free again. She hissed at all of us. "I don't know any of you! Especially anyone named Bella!"

Carlisle stepped forward and tentatively reached out to touch her shoulder. "What do you remember dear?"

She opened her mouth to say something and then snapped it shut. Her brows furrowed together and confusion was written all over her face. She looked around the room and tried to say something several times only to stop again. After a minute, her shoulders slumped and she took a deep breath which again confused her when it didn't give her the relief she had expected. That started new confusion as we all watched her breath in and out several times with no relief.

She looked at Carlisle. "Why can't I feel the air in my lungs? Why can't I feel myself breathe? What's wrong with me?"

"I'll explain that in a minute, let's try and go back to the last thing you remember. We need to try and talk about it now while the human memory is still fresh."

"Human memory? Human memory? I don't understand."

"What is your name? Let's start there."

"Shelbie. Shelbie Allen."

And there it was; the moment I knew Edward would have to except this. I chanced a glance at Edward after she revealed her name. He looked like he was just kicked in the gut and someone ripped his heart out. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose and then turned to sit in a chair.

Carlisle tried again with how she came to be in the situation they had found her in. "Shelbie. What is the last thing you remember?"

"I remember…I remember my boyfriend calling…asking if I wanted to go on a hike. I um…I thought it was a little weird. We aren't really the outdoors type. And um…he showed up…he had a friend with him. I never really cared for him, the friend, he's kinda creepy. So we went…and we hiked for about an hour." She reached up and started rubbing the back of her head. "I remember a sharp pain…my head hurt badly. I screamed…they knocked me down and started punching my face. Brad, my boyfriend, pinned me down. I remember him holding my hands above my head with one hand while he removed my pants and underwear with the other hand and Nick's help." She was quiet for a moment and no one said anything, we all knew what happened next. "They took turns. If I screamed or begged for them to stop they would just punch and kick me more. When they were done…" She pulled her shirt up with a shocked expression on her face and ran her hands over her belly. "When they were done…they stabbed me! Repeatedly! Why don't I have a single mark from the stab wounds?! On that note, I know they broke my jaw. How am I even able to talk?" She paused and started breathing in and out rapidly again. "Oh my god! Oh my god! My wounds are gone! I don't need to breathe! Human memory! I died! This is heaven…or hell…or what?"

If she were still human what happened next would have been hyperventilation and a panic attack. Carlisle still treated her as a doctor would though and instructed her to sit and put her head between her knees, but was careful not to tell her to take deep breaths as this would just panic her further.

When Carlisle spoke again he was calm and soothing with her as he gently stroked her hair in a way to comfort her further and help her relax. "I know you have many questions and we will answer all of them. Right now though, you need to hunt." She lifted her head to speak and Carlisle moved a finger to her lips to silence her. "Questions later. You need to trust me on this. Emmett."

Emmett came and Carlisle placed Shelbie's hand in his. "Emmett, you're the strongest and the most apt with a newborn. Take her and teach her." Emmett looked in my direction and I minutely nodded, telling him it was the right choice.

"New…Newborn!"

"Questions. Later." Carlisle firmly stated.

Emmett walked her over to the window and opened it as Carlisle stopped him. "Emmett! Please use the door. We don't need her trying to ask more questions."

No sooner were they out the door and out of earshot then the chaos erupted and everyone was talking over each other till Carlisle whistled and yelled at everyone to be quiet.

"Perfect. Now what are we supposed to do with her. She's not Bella and if, forget if, when the Volturi find out what we have done…"

Carlisle interrupted Rosalie with a calming tone to his voice. "That's not going to happen, Rosalie. We are going to control her and it will be fine."

Relieved to have a little insight now, I offered my reassurance as well. "I can see her now. From the moment she woke and I warned Jasper and Edward, I have been able see her. It will all work out."

"This is bad. Having her around could potentially draw more attention to us, especially if we _can't_ control her. Newborns are scatter-brained, dangerous, and volatile. What is the plan here? Emmett the Nanny!? Emmett staying by her side 24/7 to _try _and keep her in line!? No! I'm telling you right now this is a bad idea!"

Edward stood up and walked to stand in front of Rosalie. He had a smirk on his face and cocked an eyebrow at her. "You're absolutely right. Having Emmett stay by her side 24/7 is a bad idea. Especially after hunting…"

He let his sentence trail off and Rose looked in my direction. I saw it, but wasn't able to say anything before Edward walked over to Rosalie to bait her. Rose looked between Edward and I just as she figured out what was going on. "Damn it all to hell! I can't believe I let Emmett go alone with her!"

After she was gone I cocked an eyebrow at Edward and he started chuckling. "What? You don't have to be a fortune teller to know sending a newborn to hunt with Emmett was a bad idea. Once her thirst was sated, then other urges would take over."

"Emmett wasn't going to do anything." Edward looked at me pointedly with that stupid crooked grin and a cocked eyebrow.

"Ok fine he was going to have an issue with resisting, but I was 99% positive of him not doing anything."

"And that one percent was all he needed to change his path before you would have had time to warn Rosalie."

I groaned in frustration. "It's not my fault my power isn't as absolute as mind reading Edward."

Carlisle cleared his throat getting everyone's attention. "Maybe we should gather at the dining room table and discuss more important matters that need to be dealt with."

We all made our way over to the table and sat in our usual spots and waited for Carlisle to start.

"The first decision that needs to be made is whether or not we will be allowing Shelbie to stay with us long term. While you all are aware I am opposed to killing anyone, even a newborn, we need to decide if it is worth the risk keeping her and potentially drawing unwanted attention from the Volturi. Of course, whether we keep her or not, we will clearly have to move again."

I raised my hand up to get Carlisle's attention when he was finished. "Carlisle, I already know what we will do and I see everything will work out fine, but shouldn't we wait till Em and Rose are here to have this discussion so as to not have them feel left out?"

"We will get their input on this matter as well. I just thought since we will not be able to leave Shelbie unattended for quite some time, we could discuss this now and then one of you could watch her while I discuss it with them when they return."

I nodded my head and allowed Carlisle to finish.

"The second decision that will need to be made is where we would like to go and will everyone be coming with us."

At the end, he looked right at Edward. We all knew he would be the stalemate to this. I was sure this was hard for him. He was so sure she was Bella that this had to be like losing her all over again.

Esme was looking very puzzled about the whole thing and Carlisle asked her if she had a concern to share.

"What I don't understand is _how_ she looks so much like Bella? Edward even said her blood smelled the same, had that same irresistible pull. How could she be so much like Bella in every way but not be Bella? Maybe it's a trauma thing and she is Bella but doesn't realize it?"

Carlisle shook his head. "No, she is most definitely not Bella. The change would not have affected her in that way."

"Then why does she look so much like her."

"Well there is a theory by Rudolf Hess called, 'The Doppelganger Theory' which basically says that everyone has an exact twin somewhere in the world. I'm not sure that's how I would explain this, but it is an idea. The only other explanation would be that Bella actually did have a twin sister that see didn't know about. I don't think that is as likely of a scenario."

Rose, Emmett, and Shelbie came in from their hunt at that moment; I told Carlisle that Jasper and I would take Shelbie upstairs and get her settled. Since I already knew how things would work out, it made the most sense for us to leave while the family worked things out the way I knew they would.

Shelbie was very quiet while we walked up to the third floor of the house. It had two bedrooms each with a full bath, the one Jasper and I used also had a balcony. The other bedroom was rarely used. Here recently Esme and Carlisle had been using it while remodeling their bedroom. Jasper went into our room and I walked Shelbie into the other.

She sat gently on the bed and rested her hands in her lap. I walked over and sat next to her. After a moment of silence I reached out and took her hand.

"I know everything is confusing and hard to take right now, but it will get easier. I promise."

She removed her hand from my grasp and turned to look at me. "Are you telling me as a friend or as a fortune teller?"

"So, just how much did Emmett tell you?" Leave it to Emmett to open his big mouth even when he wasn't supposed to.

"That you all and I guess now me, are vampires. You don't kill a human, that's why we ate that bear. That was weird by the way." She shuddered and then continued. "He told me that you see the future, Jasper can control emotions, Edward can read minds and that everybody thought I was his girlfriend Bella because I look like her."

"I guess that about covers it. You have any other questions or wanna talk about anything?"

"No. I really wanna relax and sleep, but just remembered Emmett said we can't sleep. I guess I'll go with the relaxing and just be by myself for a bit."

"OK. I'll be across the hall if you need anything."

I gave her a hug and walked back to mine and Jaspers room. He was at the desk working on his laptop.

"I thought we weren't to leave Shelbie alone?"

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "She'll be fine."

* * *

The next morning I was lying next to Jasper, facing him with our legs tangled together. With one hand, he had his fingers laced with mine in between us. His arm was lying across my hip so his other hand could draw lazy circles into the small of my back. We were gazing at each other smiling, having a face off of sorts. He was trying to raise my arousal for a morning quickie, which of course I saw coming and was concentrating real hard on the unsexiest things I could think of. He was putting a lot of effort into this; I was just thwarting him off every time he raised the bar. Don't get me wrong, there is no better start to a day then morning sex with Jasper, but screwing with him _this_ way can be so much more fun. Almost more fun than playing chess with Edward. The circles stopped and his hand brushed my side lightly on its way to my breast, inciting a giggle to escape that I had been trying to hold in since this little game started. His fingers found the edge of my bra and he glided them in, not even bothering to remove my bra just simply moving it up and out of the way. This was my goal. The foreplay. I hated it when Jasper treated me like a light switch, turning me on and off on a whim just for kicks. Sometimes I let it slide, but with the last week being so stressful I needed this. I needed it to be just us, for just a few minutes before Carlisle comes knocking on the door.

Going with the foreplay theory, Jasper leaned forward and softly placed his lips on mine. Our lips mingled together for a moment and then Jasper ran his tongue along my bottom lip. I parted my lips and massaged his tongue with mine while his hand continued its attention to my breast. He started rolling the tip between his thumb and forefinger and I moaned. I brought my hand up to his neck and tilted my head to deepen the kiss even more. He had stopped trying to control my arousal a while ago and was going fully with the foreplay now. He was completely into it as he shifted his body weight and rolled me onto my back. He started working kisses along my jaw line and down my neck. Of all the times I actually succeed in getting Jasper into foreplay, I have less than 30 seconds now till Carlisle is going to knock on the door.

Jasper's hands went to the hem of my shirt and started to lift when I stilled his hands with mine. He was looking at me quizzically and was about to ask what was wrong when that knock came and he figured it out. He grunted in frustration and got up to open the door.

"Hello Carlisle"

He nodded his head in greeting, "Jasper"

"What can we do for you Carlisle?"

"Either you may have Alice fill you in or you both may join the family downstairs in 20 minutes."

"OK Carlisle. Thank you." He shut the door and turned to face me.

Jasper walked back over to the bed and cocked an eyebrow at me waiting.

"What! You know we are moving. It's a given considering the situation we are in with Shelbie."

"I know. My questions are where and are we all going?"

"The answers are Alaska and yes."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the peek at the Cullen's and their time apart from Bella. I know a few of you probably feel I missed something with Alice and I'm ok with that. I just got to a point where I had to let this chapter go so I could move on. Rate and Review and tell me what you thought.

Please come over and follow me on twitter. I will start giving updates on chapters with teasers! I am locked, but will accept you so no worries :) Twitter and twilighted are the same: tuleangel

You can also come over and play on the forum for Wonderwall:

Links for both twitter and the forum are on my profile!

Here is my suggested reading while you wait for Chapter 8 (which I hope won't take as long):

Emancipation Proclamation by kharizzmatik - I actually thought to myself the other day if I didn't slow the fuck down I was going to get a fucking ticket...I then had a craving for Grey Goose Vodka. I think Mafia Princeward is taking over my mind LOL Khar is one of my favorite authors and I am so in love with this fic that Chapter 17 haunted me for days, it was that chilling.

Mens Rea: A Guilty Mind by forbidden-fruit81 - Did Edward really kill Tanya? If he didn't do it, then who did? Every time I think I have this one figured out it keeps me guessing. I love it!

And as always, anything and I mean ANYTHING by lambcullen. There is a reason why she owns me and I got up at 6:30am on a Sunday to buy her in the Fandom Gives Back auction. She is a kick ass author! I love everything she writes and she is currently running 3 fics: Dearly Departed, Tides, and her newest one Tilt. You have not read fanfic till you have read something by lambcullen! Be sure to also check out the new 'Wreckage' outtake she wrote for me from the Fandom Gives Back auction as well!


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